Black Cat Drabbles of Doom
by Moggetchan
Summary: To the old readers: LAST CHAPPY Train? Creed? In a bar getting drunk together? This can't be good! To the new readers: A random drabble. Some of them are funny. Some of them are okay. One is TERRIBLE and some are wrong
1. Donuts

A/N: So, I just got done reading the 3rd _Black Cat_, and once again I found myself wondering, "What in the world are those things on Trains jacket! They look like donuts! Donuts...hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm..." And then I got to thinking (and we all know how dangerous that is), and these are the results! Enjoy! I think they may be a bit OOC, but hey, that's what makes it funny, right?

Disclaimer: I OWN IT! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! BLACK CAT IS MINE! ALL MINE! looks around in the silence that follows and spots hordes of lawyers running towards her EEEEEEEEPPPPP! runs and hides in closet from inside closet, muffled by winter coats I'M SORRY! I DON'T OWN IT! I LIED! I LIED!

Donuts?

One Shot

Eve: Train? What are those things on your coat?

Train: Huh? What things?

Eve: Those...donut...looking things.

Sven: tries to hide laughter

Train: glares I think I'll let Sven tell you.

Sven: still laughing Well. One day, Train was being an ass, as usual.

Train: glares

Sven: ignoring Train We were eating donuts. Chocolate icing.

Train: interrupts HE THREW THEM AT ME! AND THEY STUCK! NOW THEY'RE ALL STALE AND WON'T COME OFF! tugs at one to no avail

Sven: laughs

Eve: ... I'm sorry I asked.

A/N: Sven laughs, right? He must! (even though I can't remember ever seeing it) Who knows, maybe if I get enough reviews, I'll make a drabble out of this. Huh. That would be fun! Please review!


	2. Donuts Redone

A/N: Three (this is the second of three) updates in one night! I feel so special!

Disclaimer: I had this rather shocking revelation: on the cover of _Black Cat_ are two words that read "Kentaro Yabuki". I'm guessing that they mean that he owns this wonderful manga, but hey, I could be wrong!

Chapter Three: Blood Puppet

Kyoko sighed, and looked out of the window of Creed's private jet. She was so bored! There was nothing to do, and they still had two hours to go.

She sighed again, and wished that she hadn't blown up that last game. Then she looked over at Charden, who was sitting across the row from her.

Then she quickly looked back. What Charden was doing was the grossest thing she had ever seen. Even she, who loved burning people to little crisps, was grossed out.

Charden was currently watching sumo wrestling.

Only, these wrestlers where made from his blood. It appeared that he slit his palms, and was using his Tao art to configure sumo wrestlers, and was now cheering on the one on the right.

Kyoko felt her eyes drawn back to the gruesome spectacle. The one on the right pushed the left one off onto the floor, forming a huge wet blood spot. He tipped his hat over his shaded eyes, tucked his hands in his sleeves, and by all appearances went to sleep.

Kyoko looked back at the window.

This was going to be a long flight.

A/N: Yes, it is another short one. Sorry. I'm tired. I have PT in the morning. weep If you have any ideas for future drabbles, feel free to tell me in the reviews.

hint. reviews. hint. nudge. nudge.


	3. Blood Puppets

A/N: Just so you know, it's not Tiggermyk that is writing this. It is her dear, dear, "friend" Mogget.

Someone said that "Donuts" was a bit short, so, I'm rewriting it normal style. And then, maybe I'll write some more later. Huh.

Disclaimer: I'm not smart - or cool enough - to own Black Cat.

Chapter Two: Donuts Redone

Eve looked up from her book. It was her hundredth of the day, and she was getting a little bored.

But only a little.

Train was sitting on the couch across the room, sipping from a bottle of milk. Eve studied him closely. He was dressed in his normal outfit; baggy white t-shirt, black pants, bell-color, and that jacket. The pretty blue one with the large - what where they anyway? - on the front.

"Train," Eve asked quietly, "what are those things on your jacket?"

"Huh, what things?" he asked with his usual absent mindedness.

"Those - donut - looking things on the front," she said slowly, explaining it as one would to a small child.

Sven, who had been standing in the kitchen cooking dinner, had - by this point - poked his head in to listen. When he heard what Eve asked, he chocked hard, to try to hold back his laughter.

Eve glanced at him inquisitively. He was still choking, contents of the frying pan he held in his hands sloshing over.

Train glared at him angrily, "I think I'll let Sven tell you."

"Well," he said between coughs, "one day while we were eating chocolate glazed donuts, Train was, as per usual, being an ass..."

It was here that Train interrupted, jumping up and down on the couch, tugging at one of the unidentified objects. "HE THREW THEM AT ME! HE THREW THOSE DARN CHOCOLATE GLAZED DONUTS AT ME! AND THEY STUCK! AND NOW THEY'RE STALE! AND THEY WON'T COME OUT!"

Eve looked at Train, jumping up and down on the couch, still tugging at the donut to no avail.

Then she looked at Train, who was attempting - but failing miserably - to mop up whatever had fallen out of the pan, but the mop kept slipping in his hands as he still shook with uncontrollable laughter.

"I'm sorry I asked," she said, picking up her book and heading away from the two men so that she could be alone.

Comments about Reviews (aka kudos for those that actually reviewed!)

Requim17: hands virtual cookie YAY! First review cookie for you! Yes, it is random, isn't it? looks off into sky You're not the first one to tell me I have an odd thought process...thanks for reading!

x.Auel.Lover.x: heh. It is rather short, isn't it? So, this longer one is for you! YAY!


	4. Bubbles

A/N:...bubbles...heh heh heh

Chapter Three: Bubbles

The sun was reaching its zenith, looking down on the earth to see a young girl sitting on a bench in a beautiful, shady park. She was about eleven, with long blond hair and an obvious curiosity for everything around her, as if she hadn't seen enough of it in her short life.

The young girl, who went by the name of Eve, stuck a wand into a little container filled with solution, brought it out - carefully waiting for it to drip back into the container - and bringing it up to her little pink lips, she blew slowly and carefully, watching in awe and wonder as lime mango peach scented bubbles took flight, reflecting the noon-day sun in round rainbow dances.

Suddenly, a bullet whizzed by, popping several bubbles. Eve barely glanced down from the remaining ones that floated up towards the clouds as two thugs ran past, firing shots over there shoulder.

Once they were past, Eve dipped the wand again, and blew with the same slow, steady breath. Her awe didn't lessen any the second time as the lime mango peach scented bubbles once again flew off into the sky.

Suddenly, bullets whizzed by again. These did not, however, hit a single bubble, despite the multitudes of them floating in large clumps. The bullets were closely followed by a man wearing a bell collar with XIII tattooed on his chest, caring an ornate black pistol, also etched with the same XIII.

The man didn't slow down as he shot past, waving and calling out "Hey there, Princess," in a cheerful way - huge grin plastered on his face. As he ran, he dodged bubbles, and so by the time he was gone, not a single on of them had been popped.

When all the bubbles had flown off to their doom in the trees and the sky, Eve dipped her wand once again, blowing, and watching with the same delight as the first two times as the lime mango peach scented bubbles bobbled and shone towards the sky.

Another man ran past soon after, dressed in a white suit, mint green hair showing under his matching white fedora. He ran slower than the first men, clutching his side as he limped/ran after the others. He paused for a second in front of Eve, disregardless of her lime mango peach scented bubbles.

"You alright?" he gasped out, lifting his right eye patch to wipe the sweat away.

Eve looked at him, and said slowly, as in carefully thinking of each word before speaking, "I'm fine. Sven, you might want to catch up with Train, though," she paused, "He might do something illegal if you aren't there."

The man called Sven nodded and went off in the direction of the others, quickly picking up pace.

Eve continued to sit there, coaxing the lime mango peach scented bubbles out of the wand, until the sun had found its place on the horizon. The two men that had spoken to her came back up, looking tired, but pleased. Sven was holding a large chuck of cash in his hand.

"How did it go?" she asked, carefully screwing the cap onto her bubble jar as she stood up.

"Pretty good, Princess," said Train as he grinned happily.

Eve began to walk towards them, and Sven asked, "So, what did you do all day?"

Eve looked at him. "Oh, I blew bubbles." She looked down at the container, and added thoughtfully, "They're lime mango peach scented."

Sven and Train held their hands out to her, and she took them, and together the three of them walked home.

A/N: I guess this is taking place shortly after when Eve stabbed Sven, since he's still having problems. I though of this while laying on the couch at 6:30 this morning waiting for my ride to come pick me up for NJROTC orientation (which is - by the way - no fun when you are scared witless of your squad commander), and I saw all these weird scented bubbles sitting on the mantle, so being not in my right mind, I thought this up. Lime mango peach would smell good, don'tcha think? Please review!


	5. Blooper Reel Part One

A/N: I don't know why, but for some reason, I always think of Eve as someone who talks slow. Not in a stupid way, but I think because of her background, she thinks about every word she says. Not that that has anything to do with much.

Oh, yeah, the unarmed man is the guy from the first book that killed the old guy. I don't have the first volume with me right now, and I can't remember his name, so, I hope you know who I'm talking about.

Disclaimer: Whoops, I forgot this part earlier. Please don't sue me. But, let me assure you, if I was making money off of this...I wouldn't be broke, like I am now.

Chapter Five: Black Cat Blooper Reel Part One

The omniscient narrator of _Black Cat_ glared at Train. "Why. Won't. You. Do. It." its nonexistent voice growled through nonexistent teeth.

Train, looked at the general direction of the voice coming from the sky. But, for some reason, it didn't seem to disturb him. This Train was much different from the one we know and love. "Well, Mr. or Mrs. Omniscient Narrator, sir or ma'am, I'm just worried about the effect of me killing an unarmed man on young, impressionable reader's minds."

Someone sneezed off in the distance.

It was all the voice could do to not grow hands and hit Train. "You are a cold blooded killer. You just fought him and disarmed in a fair fight! NO ONE WILL CARE! They will think you are cool."

A loud sneeze rang throughout the roof tops.

Train glared at the direction of the voice. "Well, Omniscient Narrator, it was not a fair fight, because I am the great Black Cat, and he is just some poser. And also, it is wrong to kill just so you can become a teen icon." He crossed his arms, and turned his back on the voice.

A sneeze rang out again.

The voice, being a voice, didn't really come from any particular direction, so it just yelled at Train. "Look you! THIS IS A T+ MANGA! THE READERS AREN'T IMPRESIONABLE! But, it doesn't really matter now, BECAUSE THE MAN YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KILL JUST RAN OFF!" Indeed, the said supposed to be victim had run off into the horizon.

A particularly loud sneeze was unleashed.

Train sniffed. "Not my fault."

Someone sneezed again.

The voice decided to give up on Train, and so instead turned to the sneezer, who's named happened to be Sven, who happened to be the Black Cat's partner.

"WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?" the voice yelled, patients as nonexistent as the rest of him.

Sven sniffed and blew his nose into a soiled handkerchief, and said in a stuffy voice, "I'mb a-a-allergic ta c-c-ca-cats!"

The voice screamed in frustration.

Comments to Reviewers:

requim17: ...don't hurt yourself! Then I'll have no one that reviews! hahahaha. I'm glad you like it so much: )

CrypticAngel: YAY! Thank you so much! I plan to continue it for as long as I can...

A/n:in a spooky voice: Youuuuuu waaaaaaant to reviewwwwwwww! Reviewssssssss are goooooooood!


	6. IT

A/N: ...heh heh heh...

Disclaimer: I own the clothes on my back and the books on my shelf - and that's about it. I don't own Gatorade either, just in case you're wondering...

Chapter Six: IT

The sweepers Train and Sven - along with Eve - were doing what they usual did - sweeping, while hunting for clues on Creed's whereabouts. Currently, they were running full tilt down an alley.

Suddenly, Sven noticed something odd. Train was sweating...green? This puzzled him. How could anyone sweat green? Train was odd in almost every way...but green _sweat_! HOW!

"Train," he gasped out in question, "what's with your...sweat?"

Train turned to him and said with a perfectly straight face..."IT's in me."

A/N: Short I know...but I couldn't resist. That and I couldn't find any way to make it longer. Oh, well.

I have a question for everyone! My friend and I are having this debate...which are cooler, ninjas or pirates? I think ninjas...he thinks pirates. What do you think?


	7. Got Millk?

A/A: Whenever you are in doubt, go be mean to your least favorite person. You feel better. The doubt doesn't go away, though. You just feel better about it. (Note: You might not want to take this advice, you may get hurt. I do)

Disclaimer: Me? Own something? Yeah, right! Oh, how you joke.

Chapter Seven: Got Milk?

Train finished chugging a bottle of milk, and put it down with a contented sigh. Dragging his arm across his face, he wiped at his milk moustache.

Eve looked up from the current book she was reading - _A Separate Peace_, by John Knowles, which she thought was okay, but not the best - and asked Train a question that caused Sven (who was working on his latest invention - bullets that let out a powerful acid) to groan.

"Train," she asked, "why do you always drink milk?"

"Oh," groaned Sven, "why did you have to ask that?"

"Did I do something wrong?" asked Eve with mild concern, but it was too late to escape the impeding doom. For Train had leapt up, huge idiot grin taking its customary place upon his face.

"Well," Train said, launching into an elaborate tale, "being a Sweeper, I use a lot of energy. Sweeping is also full of dangerous things, that could put my bones at risk. So, to keep them strong, I drink plenty of milk. It gives me all the essential vitamins and minerals to keep a strong, healthy body."

Rinslet, who had been in the bathroom, had walked in by this point and now chimed in, "Yeah, besides being healthy for you like that and all, it helps me stay slim and maintain my hour glass figure," she paused and winked at the blushing Sven and Train.

"So, Eve," asked Train, "do you drink milk?"

Eve looked from Rins to Train several times before answering, "Well, the nanotechnology in my bloodstream helps prevent injury, and I'm only eleven, so I don't have any need of a figure."

Rins and Train looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

Then, to everyone's surprise, Eve grabbed a fresh bottle of milk, and poured some into a tall glass, and set it in front of Train.

Everyone looked at her, and she said in way of explanation, "Sven isn't getting any younger, and he needs all the help he can get to stay healthy. Now, drink it all Sven."

Sven took one look at Eve's right hand, which had tuned into a huge hatchet, and drained the glass of milk.

Train and Rins grinned at each other, and Eve turned to them and said with a small smile, "Milk, where's your mustache?"

A/N: Yay. Another chapter. yawn Eech, I'm tired. Everyone should go read _Yotsuba_, because it's so incredibly funny! It's about this six year old absentminded girl. It's by the person that created _Azumanga Dioah_. I was laughing so hard that I was falling over! (seriously)

Comments to the Reviewers:

Eni Li'Nave: Yeah, I know what you mean about "disregardless". I was reading it after I posted it and caught that mistake. sighs But it was to late...Thanks for reviewing! hands cookie because I missed your review when you posted it

Dark Nova-chan: Pirate ninjas...hmmm...

Cryptic Angel: If you're going to demand...you shouldn't say please. Ninjas are definitely cooler though: )

Requim17: hides in closet Um...you can have your blooper reel idea back...passes through under closet door I actually was considering not posting it, because I didn't really like the way it turned out, but I did anyway...because...well, I don't really know why. Johnny Depp does get a woot! So does Orly! three cheers for Orly Ninjas are cooler than pirates...

mahoakitti: YAY! does happy dance Arigato! SHE(?) - he? it? (jk) - ADDED ME TO HER(?) HIS (?) ITS (?) FAVES! YAY!


	8. Trigun Crossover

A/N: Okay, I've been wanting to do a crossover for a while now. BC meets Trigun. For those of you who haven't read/watched Trigun, I'll give you a quick explanation. Vash the Stamped best gun man in Trigun world with $$60 billion bounty on his head. Black cat Kuroneko-samam-rama. Neko is this totally random cat that is in every single episode. Really weird. Trigun is a western sci-fi kinda anime.

Chapter Eight: Crossover

Vash the Stampede walked across the open desert, long red trench coat blowing behind him. He looked back over his should, orange sunglasses on their bent frame glinting in the sun, hiding his blue eyes.

Running his gloved hand through his long spiky blond hair, he sighed. That damn cat was following his again. Vash didn't really know anything about it. It was just a black cat that went by the name of Kuroneko-sama-rama and had a habit of popping up at the oddest times.

Vash decided to wait for the cat to catch up. When it finally did, he was in for the shock of his life. In a puff of smoke, Neko disappeared, and was replaced with a man.

He was a strange man. He had disarrayed brown hair, and gleaming golden eyes. Around his neck was a collar with a bell, and at the edge of his shirt collar the Roman numeral XIII was visibly tattooed.

Vash gaped. "Who...who are you?"

The man grinned. "I," he announced proudly, "am Train Heartnet, alias Black Cat. I heard that you are claiming to be the best gun man. Well, I'm hear to put that story to an end!" The man called Train pulled out an ornate black pistol also etched with XIII and opened fire.

Vash yelped and started running around in a seemingly crazy manner, but if there had been any observers, they would have seen that he was in fact dodging bullets. Turing back to Train, he pulled out his own gun, a large silver revolver, and he too opened fire.

Train also began to dodge bullets, and then realized something strange. Not one of Vash's bullets was aimed to kill.

"Why aren't you taking this seriously?" he yelled.

Vash kept firing as he replied, "A woman I once knew once taught me to never take a life. I'm all for love and peace."

Trian dropped his gun in shock, and Vash stopped firing. "What's wrong?" he asked, mildly concerned.

Train sat down and began bawling. "I once knew a woman like that. But then...my friend killed her."

Vash looked shocked. "No way! My brother killed my friend!"

Train looked up at Vash, and Vash looked down at Train.

Suddenly, they both broke out into wide idiotic grins.

"Let's go get some donuts!" said Vash, helping Train up.

Train agreed, nodding and adding, "And milk!"

Throwing arms over each other's shoulders, they walked into the sunset, chatting amiably.

"So how old are you, Vash?"

"Over two hundred."

"..."

A/N: uwah! I hope you liked it! I hope you've read Trigun! If you haven't...you should! Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers for supporting me and being nice about it.

Speaking of that. I don't understand why people "flame" others. It seems to me that fanfic is like a big writing family, and if people need to improve, then reviews should be constructive, not mean. Not that anyone has done that to me. If they did...I'd be upset.

To Said Wonderful Reviewers:

Requim17: I had to read _A Separate Peace_, too, that's why I put it down. I still need to finish my summer reading, and we've been in school a week...eh heh heh.

Cryptic Angel (): I will continue as long as I can. I just write when ideas hit me, literally sometimes. (Translation: I'm lazy, too.)

mahoakitti: YAY FOR GIRL POWER! Thanks for reading!


	9. Creed's Diary Part One

A/A: Never tease your friends about guys they like, because while they are allowed to do that to you, you are not allowed to do it to them, because your other personalities will lock you in the closet with the winter coats and no cookies and throw away the key.

BTW: Creed always seems just a bit gay to me. What about you?

Disclaimer: I almost forgot this part, AGAIN! One day a lawyer is gonna come and sue my butt off. Well, maybe not. There's not much of one to sue. looks at butt sadly

Chapter Nine: Creed's Diary, Part One

Dear Diaryinsert heart here,

Today I saw Train! heart Like, OMIGOD! He is still like, sooo HOT! ahhhhhh! heart

Better yet, HE BLEED ON ME! Eh! Train's blood, on me! I'm so...honored! heart

However, he's still hung up on that...witch...Saya...a woman.

pout I just don't understand. Why in the world is Train hung up on a _woman_! It's just NOT FAIR! I have everything I could ever want, power, good looks, minions, but I WANT TRAIN!

He's just to damn sexy to waist on some female!

sigh I can just imagine it, running my hands through his chocolately brown hair, as our lips lock and...and his little cat bell chimes. AWWWW! I WANT TRAIN! I WANT HIM! I WANT HIM! I WANT HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!

here the diary becomes unintelligible due to large water marks

sob Anyway. My plan to take over the world is going well, with new minions flocking to me every day. As soon as I seduce Train, I'll be ready to make my move. I must still get rid of that witch in his heart, though. And soon, it will be done.

Hugs,

Creedy heart

A/N: Heh heh heh. MY FOOT HURTS! I got this huge blister that was all pussy and skinny, and I accidentally rubbed it against my leg, and it started bleeding, AND IT HURTS! begins sobbing Anyway. Hope you enjoyed Creed's Diary, Part One. More to follow, maybe.

Kudos to the Reviewers:

Cryptic Angel(): I found a catalog that sells Vash's coat, so I've been saving up, and I finally have enough to get it! I'm gonna cosplay for Halloween! LOVE AND PEACE!

Requim17: blushes Usually when people tell me I'm funny it's because I either look stupid or say something stupid, like the other day in geography when our teacher asked as what the "N" and "S" and all those things on the compass rose were, and I was totally spaced out and just said, "Letters?" ...yeah... Thanks for the review, and I do plan to keep writing.

SpaceJunk: Who are you? I have no idea! What a stupid question! dodges glares

BTW: I JUST FINISHED A STORY! I might or might not post it on fictionpress, but it's the first story I've actually finished! I'M SO PROUD! (just thought I'd share the love)


	10. Creed's Diary Part Two

A/A: You should actually do your homework, because you learn cool things, like the name of this town in Wales that translate to, "the Church of St. Mary's in the grove of the white hazelnut tree near the rapid whirlpool and the Church of St. Tisilio near the red cave." In Welsh it is, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. I just though that that was funny and decided to share.

Disclaimer: It certainly would be nice if I owned _Black Cat_, but I don't, so I'll just go console myself with some cookies. I also don't own the CITI identity theft commercials.

Chapter Ten: Creed's Diary Part Two

Dear Diary heart,

Today, I stole some bums credit card, and then I hit the mall. heart

I was heading over towards the Gap, when I saw it. There, in the window of Victoria's Secret, was this sexy little leather beustiea. I stared at it, imagining...

_Train lounges on a velvet couch, sipping from a glass filled with blood colored wine. He wears just a block robe, split down to his navel - showing off his finely sculpted chest - and his collar. He grins seductively as I enter, hiding the leather thing under a matching robe. He stands and walks over to me, still grinning, and..._

I was brought back to reality sharply when a large woman bumped into me. She didn't even bother to apologize, so when she was about ten feet away, I stabbed her with my Imagine Blade. heart

I checked the price of the thing, as everyone else gathered around the woman. 15 hundred dollars for a leather beustia, I mean, come on, it lifts and SEPERATES! And, it's not like it was even _my_ credit card. heart

So, I bought it, and I as I write this, I'm breaking it in, waiting for the day that Train joins me in my be...my revolution.

Hugs,

Creedy

Creed began to put his diary away, only to be interrupted by Shiki as he walked in. Creed just glared at him, as his one eye grew wide with panic when he saw what Creed was wearing.

Without a word, he turned and left, glad he wasn't under the pressure of being in charge.

A/N: Alright, so I have this really wicked idea for my next chapters. (it's a three part episode) Just so ya'll know in advance, I love all of you and I'm not being evil on purpose. heheheheeh

To My Wonderful Reviewers:

Cryptic Angel: I'm sorry you didn't like that one as much. I hope I can write one that's even better next time!

SpaceJunk: smacks over head SARCASM! My god, child, you're dense! with holds cookies

Requim17: Yo not here? Where is you? You're usually the first or second one to review! I miss you!


	11. Under Sven's Mattress Part One

A/A: If you get mad at the ending of a book (or story) it will be no good whatsoever to kill them, because they have a better end in mind. (Translation: Don't kill me, please)

Disclaimer: I plead the fifth.

Chapter 11: Part One of the "Under Sven's Mattress" Trilogy

Rinslet Walker, world renowned expert thief was bored. This was very dangerous, because when Rins got bored, things got destroyed.

Young Eve was also bored, because she had read out the entire library of books in the hideout.

So, together they plopped down on the couch and flipped through tv channels.

"Ya wanna go shopping?" asked Rins.

Eve shook her head. "We just got back, remember?" she asked, pointing at a large heap of shopping bags.

Rins sighed. "Oh, yeah."

There was silence for a while. "This place is huge," Rins said eventually, "have you been in all the rooms yet?"

Eve shook her head again. "No. But, we could always go exploring."

Rins grinned happily. "Now you're talking, kid. Let's go."

So, off they went. It wasn't as fun as they thought it would be, though, because most of the rooms were empty and dusty. Just when they started to get bored again, they came across a room with a very high-quality lock.

"Do you know who's room this is?" asked Rins, her tongue poking out as she assessed the lock, delighting in the challenge it offered.

Eve thought for a moment. "Um...Sven's, I think."

"He has a really good lock!" Rins exclaimed happily as she wove a hair clip into the key hole.

"Yeah," Eve replied, "he likes to tinker with things a lot. He probably made this himself."

Rinslet let out a sigh of satisfaction as the door swung open with a gently "_swish"_. Together, the two adventurers stepped into the room and looked around.

The room was organized and clean. Books were neatly stacked and the furniture was dusted. Opening the wardrobe Rinslet was confronted by the suits that were pressed and folded in neat squares, underneath which the socks and underwear were also folded and arranged by color.

Something caught Eve's eye. Poking out from the neatly made bed under the mattress was what looked like the corner of a magazine.

Eve thought about what happened in the books she read. Magazines. Under mattresses. Sven? No, it couldn't be. Not Sven. Eve had to find out. Slowly, she lifted the edge of the mattress, taking hold of the corner of the magazine and pulling it out.

End Part One

A/N: I have NO IDEA what I did, but SOMEHOW I DELTED HALF THE STORY while trying to write it. bangs head on keyboard I hate having to rewrite things. Bleh. Know what's one of the most heinous crimes I've ever heard of? Kid porn. I just got done watching _Without a Trace_ about an exploited kid.

To Reviewers:

Cryptic Angel (): mourns as buries Ms. C. Angel Say, when a cryptic angel dies, does it go to heaven? Huh.

SpaceJunk: What can I say? I'm an unusual gal.

Requim17: YAY! You're back! I missed you! Yes, I love those commercials, too! Ah, about the spelling - I don't care if you use the internet short hand thingy, but long hand is easier to read. But, whichever you prefer is fine! Egh. School. A/B scheduling is messing up my head like nothing else.


	12. Disclaimer

A/N: I'm watching _Cold Case_, and this innocent man just got executed. I'm crying. Damn. I cry so easily. How can you know you're going to die in twenty minutes, five minutes, or just one second? How? If I ever got killed, I wouldn't want the person to get the death sentence, because no one, _no one_ should be faced with the knowledge of when they're going to die. Not now, not ever.

Anyway. I'm sure you don't want to here me babble like this. You want the story.

Disclaimer: I'm posting this to apply to the next two chapters, as not to ruin the suspense. Like so many other things, I do not own _Black Cat_. Not right now, anyway. But one day...evil snickers...One day it will be MINE! ALL MINE! BWAHAHAHAHA! There's no story in this chapter, just a sad note and a disclaimer.


	13. Under Sven's Mattress Part Two

Chapter 12 - Under Sven's Mattress Part II

Eve lifted up the edge of the mattress and pulled out the magazines. Rinslet looked over her shoulder, and they gasped in unison as they read the title.

Sven had _this_ under his mattress!


	14. An Interruption

A/A: Whenever you shine things (like shoes and belt buckles, for example) it doesn't help to mutter in frustration.

Disclaimer: I. Don't. Own. Black. Cat.

Chapter Fourteen: Special Interruption

Train, Sven, Rinslet, and Eve all bent over in anticipation as they sat glued to the television screen. It was the season finale of their favorite crime show, and the identity of a mole in the office was about to be revealed. The bets on who it really was were in place. The popcorn bowls were empty and licked clean, and the commercial breaks were over.

The officer in charge opened his mouth to say the name, when it happened. There was an odd beeping sound, and a newscaster's face appeared. There was stunned silence, and no one could even breathe. They just sat there, and stared.

"We'd like to bring you a special report," drone the reporter monotonously, "fanfiction author Mogget, aka Tiggermyk, has reached 1,000 hits and beyond."

The camera switched shots to show a girl of uncertain age and looks jumping around and screaming. "OMIGOD! I'VE REACHED 1,000 HITS! OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD!"

The camera came back to the reporter. "We now return to your regularly scheduled program."

The crime show came back on, but it was too late. It was the credits. They would never find out now.

Rinslet flipped the TV off, and they all flopped back on the couch. There was silence.

"Hey, Sven," asked Eve, "can you count to 1,000?"

"Um, yeah, I guess."

Train chimed in, "I can't! I can't get past like 100, because I'll keep losing track."

"Hey, yeah, me too!" exclaimed Rins.

And so a conversation ensued, talking about how far they could count, how long it took them to get there, and how often they lost track.

Thus the night wore on, and the identity of the mole was all but forgotten in the excitement of the 1,000+ hits.

A/N: WOOHOO! THANK YOU TO ALL MY READERS! AHHHH! THANK YOU FOR 1,000 HITS ! Okay, I don't know if ya'll find this as exciting as I do, but I think it is exciting...YEAH!

If only people reviewed every time they hit, huh? Even just one little word going "good", and I'd be happy!

Cookies for Reviewers:

Serenity Maxwell: If you keep reading, you'll find out! La de DA da! You'll find out in, like, a day or so, maybe, because I have homework. GAH! I HATE ALGERBRA! Anyway. Actually, scratch that. I'll update tonight.

Cryptic Angel: evil snickers Teeheehee. That's for me to know, and you to find out. Heh heh heh.

Jacob: I don't know if you'll ever read my story again. If you do, thanks. If not, I understand.

mahoakitti: ...yes, I do so tease...


	15. Under Sven's Mattress Part Three

Chapter Fifteen: Under Sven's Mattress Part Final

Rinslet Walker and Eve rolled on the floor laughing. They couldn't help it. The magazines under Sven's mattress were as follows:

_Southern Living_

_Ladies Home Journal_

_Good Parenting_

_Good Housekeeping_

_Family Circle_

They were still laughing when Sven came in. And when he began yelling at them. And when he pulled out his gun. And when he kicked them out. They were, in fact, even laughing as they walked downtown to dinner, because Sven swore he would never cook for either of them again.

A/N: I hope it was worth the wait. I hope you know what the magazines are. They're all ones with things like recipes and family articles and happy stuff like that.

I really, really don't feel good. But...reviews will cheer me up a whole bunch.


	16. Ode to Train

A/A: When it rains all day, never wear pants that drag the ground.

Disclaimer: Black Cat does not belong to me. If it did, I would be writing it, not this drabble, now wouldn't I?

Chapter Sixteen: Ode to Train

Black Cat - called Train

is so utterly insane

From the shadow he strikes fast

running with open arms to his past

For he cannot forget Saya, his dear friend

who his wounds she did mend

What a fool was Creed

to of Train's warning take no heed

For now he will surely die

and maybe Train can finally cry

But first he must get past the masters of the Tao

though his only problem is how

Black Cat - number thirteen - has some bad luck to deliver

and Creed's grand plan will surely wither

A/N: 'Allo everybody! This was mostly written while I was in the shower. Gosh, I love showers. They feel so goooood! Anyway. TOMORROW'S FRIDAY! YAY FRIDAY! does "tomorrow is Friday dance"

Cookies for the Reviewers:

SpaceJunk: Your spelling still stinks. I love reviews! I didn't do so well on the math homework...DAMN ALGERBRA WORD PROBLEMS!

Serenity Maxwell: Ah! You're so nice! I'm glad I made your night, you made my day! Even when I almost got run over by a guy in a wheel chair!

Cryptic Angel: People not guessing was the whole point! Bwahaahahaha! I love messing with people's head! (though usually it's the other way around...heh heh heh)


	17. Sven's Eye

A/A: Always be on the alert, because guys come up behind you and pin your arms behind back and begin to tickle you, even after you made him lunch. And other people will join in. But it's not so bad...because then you get a hug. But on with our story.

Disclaimer: Kentaro Yabuki and insert my real name here only share three letters, so I guess they're not the same. Darn, to bad. For some reason, I got the impression that the eye-donor was a girl (though I have no idea how, cause they don't mention anything about it in the book) so that is why this chapter is how it is...

Chapter Seventeen: Sven's Eye

Sven knelt in front of Eve in an alleyway next to a huge hole that the serial killer Gyanza had just slipped down.

"Are you all right," he asked, concerned.

"Sven...wh-where is he?" she asked without answering.

Train, who was standing behind her looking serious for a change, replied, "He disappeared into the sewers. As soon as he got hurt, he ran."

"Huh?" she asked, confused.

Train continued, "He'll use his position to his advantage and attack from below, so watch out," he paused before continuing, "So what now, Sven? With Eve to look after, we're at a disadvantage."

Sven didn't answer for a moment, and instead wiped blood off Eve's forehead with a handkerchief. "I know...playtime ends now, Gyanza!" he exclaimed, standing up and pulling off his eye patch.

Eve stared for a second. Then another. She tried to stop, but it just came out. A small gasp of laughter.

Sven turned and glared at her. "It's not funny." he said through gritted teeth.

Eve now understood why Sven kept his right eye covered up. It was large. It was blue. It had long lashes. It belonged on the main character of a shojo manga as she looked up at her life's true love.

"He's never been able to refuse a gift," Train said, straight face twitching.

A/N: Wow. That is really pathetic. BUT I'M SO BORED! EGH! Oh, yeah, I GET TO BE A PIRATE IN THE SCHOOL MUSICAL, sooooo, the next chapter will have...PIRATES! (decided that two seconds ago)

Cookies for Reviewers:

SpaceJunk: You should watch out for those seniors, too. Your face is pretty enough without the marker.

Cryptic Angel: from inside closet where she is hiding with the winter coats pushes humor cookies from under the door


	18. Pirates of the Carribean Part One

A/A: Don't stick your favorite hat in the shower with you to wash it, because when it dries, it really, really stinks. So for this chappy, imagine everyone is like, oh, fourteen and in high school. Yeah. That'll work.

Disclaimer: Coming up with something witty to put here is about as fun as dripping hot wax over your hand just for the heck of it, like I did last night...yeah. I don't own Black Cat. Or PotC.

Chapter Eighteen: Black Cat Cast Does Pirates of the Caribbean

Yuraful High School buzzed with excitement. Or maybe it was the stone-age air conditioning that was making it vibrate.

The drama club was the reason for the excitement. Rinslet Walker, the student director walked to the front of the room, and slowly it quieted. Rins pounded the front desk with her fist, and announced, "After much thought, I have finally drawn up the cast list for this year's play, _Pirates of the Caribbean_!"

The cast-to-be began to sweat.

Not that they were scared. The above mentioned air conditioning did nothing but vibrate, so the class room was rather hot.

Rinslet cleared her throat and began to speak, "Captain Barbossa will be played be Eve! Sven Vollfied will be Captain Jack Sparrow!" she continued, and the actors began to squirm, wondering who would get the parts of Will and Elizabeth.

Finally Rins said with a large flourish, "And, portraying William Turner will be Train Heartnet, and his sweet heart Elizabeth Turner will be..." the class drew a breath of anticipation, "CREED DISKENTH!"

There was a moment of silence.

Then Train jumped up. "GOOD GOD RINS! HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU CAST THIS PLAY?"

Rinslet shrugged. "I drew names from a hat."

There was more silence. Each actor was absorber with their own thoughts of doom

Eve: _What? I have to be that ugly man? At least I'll get a scene or two with Sven!_ She looked over at the green-haired cutie and blushed.

Sven: _Hmmmm. Could be worse. I could have to lock lips with Creed_. He looked symmetrically at his best friend Train

Train: _KILL ME NOW! No, wait until I kill Rins. Then kill me._

Creed: _YES! I GET TO KISS TRAIN!_

Rinslet: _I'm so evil_.

Belze and Kyoko looked at each other and looked away quickly. They were playing the two British soldiers that were part of the comic relief.

Belze: _That girl is so immature. I don't want to work with her!_

Kyoko: _Uh. That guy NEVER smiles! This is going to be soooo boring!_

Charden was in a similar predicament. He was part of the pirate comedic duo with...

A/N: ANOTHER CLIFF HANGER! AHHH! So I got the fourth Black Cat Friday night...it's so good. Train is so sexy. And, not a real spoiler, but I found out that the seer that gave Sven his eye is a guy. I now feel incredibly silly. Oh, well.

Cookies for Reviewers:

SpaceJunk: Ninjas are so cooler than pirates! I mean, come on, they're clean. And they're incredibly sexy. Take Kakashi for example...sighs longingly

Cryptic Angel: Yes, poor Sven. gives Sven a cookie

Requim17: AH! I MISSED YOU! Ehem. Anyway. Yeah. I space out a lot! I happy that you love my chapters! I feel so special!

Serenity Maxwell: Yeah. I had the book in front of me and wrote the stuff down word for word. The guy that almost ran me over was sorry to.

mahoakitti: Ah! My plot line is...Train is in the bathtub, when he sees a rubber duck that Eve left there...heh heh heh. Yes, reviews are wonderful things, aren't they? I don't think some people really realize how much reviews really help you keep going! I'm glad I can be such an inspiration! I'm sorry your day was depressing!


	19. Pirates of the Carribean Part Two

A/A: DON'T TOUCH THE POISON IVY! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (I have poison ivy on my neck and arms. It's really NOT fun)

Disclaimer: The characters you recognize probably don't belong to me. Karma, by the way, belongs to me. Karma's sexy little behind is all mine, so don't steal him. But...if you ask nicely and give me a cookie then you can borrow him. That's assuming any one would even want to, though.

Chapter Nineteen: _Pirates of the Caribbean_ part II

Charden looked over at the boy he had to partner up with, and quickly looked back away. But it was too late. The guy saw him looking over. In the pandemonium of Train pulling a gun to the director's head, the boy got up and sauntered up to the empty chair next to him, plopping down in a totally inelegant - yet some how elegant - way.

Charden glanced back over at him, and he grinned.

"Hey," he practically purred, "my name is Karma."

Everything about the boy reminded Charden of a cat. He held himself relaxed, yet somehow totally ready to spring. His eyes were lidded in a sly look, and his black hair flew away from his pale triangular face in a wild mop. Glancing out of the corner of his eyes, Charden saw the Karma's were bright green that glinted with humor and intelligence.

"That's an...interesting...name," replied Charden stiffly.

Karma grinned. "Yeah. My mom's pretty wacky. But I like it!" his shoulders shook slightly as he laughed.

must interrupt with a question: what's the point of putting up a home less shelter if you don't let them spend the night!

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two. Charden shifted nervously in his seat, but Karma just yawned.

Finally, the chaos quieted. (But that was only because Creed planted a big wet one on Train's lips, causing him to faint dead - Creed now stood triumphantly over his prone form doing his best not to just let loose and molest him)

Rinslet cleared her throat, and they few shocked murmurs quieted. "Yes, well, I've already made the programs, so all the cast list is final," she paused here to cast a glare around at the cast, "Which means...no one will drop out, will they?" she glared so incredibly evilly that no one dared to even nod, except Karma.

The boy stood on the chair, grinning just like Train at his worst, and exclaimed, "Missus Director Lady, we're with you one hundred times one hundred to the one hundredth percent!" He began clapping with such enthusiasm, that soon everyone - that is everyone but Train - that was scared stiff and lethargic minutes before were on their feet cheering loudly as Rinselt slowly turned brighter and brighter red.

Much to his shock, even Charden found himself standing and cheering. As Karma hopped back down from the chair, Charden turned to him and asked, "How did you do that? If it was anyone else everyone would just ignore you."

Karma grinned as he clapped with everyone else. "Everyone just luvs me," he said brightly.

Charden sighed. This is going to be very interesting. Very interesting indeed.

A/N: WOOT! PIRATES! AHHHH! About Karma, in case any body wants to know. He's just some character that popped into my head one day. In some story I might or might write one day (I have a lot of those, by the way) he's gonna be an assassin. He's kinda like Train, I guess. Only different. Oh, and I got a part as a pirate in the high school musical (hah ha hah) and I don't have a name, so I've decided that my name will be Karma, short for Karmabella! YAY!

Cookies for Reviewers:

SpaceJunk: ...I never talk to you anymore. I don't know what to say. I feel so friggin akward! AHH! runs and hides in closet

Cryptic Angel: Yes, we all love Train and Rins! WEEEE! I hope they get together! Musha musha!

Serenity Maxwell: Evil glint right back atcha!

mahoakitti: PotC is sooo funny! YAY! Charden is one of the pirate comedic duo! YAY FOR PIRATES! (I'm sooo hyper right now)


	20. Train Attacks

A/A: mutters certain guys name under her breath hyperactively Senior guys are bad for freshman girl's hearts.

Disclaimer: .em ot gnoleb ton seod taC kcalB Translate that if you can! The idea for this story came from none other than the wonderful mahoakitti! beams and hands platter of cookies If you want to find the inspiration for this, GO READ HER STORY, and review, too! It's funny! bribes with cookies

Chapter Twenty: TRAIN ATTACKS!

Train leaned back in the large porcelain tub and sighed happily. There were bubbles. Lots and lots of lime mango peach scented bubbles.

Then, he saw it.

Sitting there in the corner.

Looking at him.

All yellow and round.

A rubber duckie.

Scrambling back against the wall, he gathered his body under him, ready to pounce. Baring his teeth in a viscous snarl, his feline instincts took over, and he soared across the tub.

After a few minutes of him shooting it, there was silence filled with his triumphant panting. Then the door opened and Eve walked in.

She looked at her duckie in despair for several moments, before turning to Train and saying, "You owe me a duck."

Then she turned and walked out. Sven poked his head in and chuckled. "Nice bubbles," he said. The room was now hopelessly covered in bubbles, including several strategically placed ones around Train's, er...well, you know.

Train slammed the door and began to refill the tub, muttering about how you couldn't get a decent bath without people barging in any more.

A/N: drool Aren't there just some guys you would just love to walk in on them while they're taking a bath? Train is one of them. Inuyasha is another. So is Alzeid from _Dazzle_. And the Sohma guys. Yeah. And Kakashi. I could go on for a loooong time! There are maybe two guys that are actually flesh and blood that I would want to walk in. Anime guys are just so cooler than the real ones. I mean, come, they're HOT, and they're NICE, and their problems can all be solved with either a swing of a sword or a hug and a couple nice words. I WANNA ANIME GUY! weep

Cookies for Reviewers! (I don't like the name for this little section. I need a new one)

requim17: laughs Forever is a long time. But I'll try! Pirates kick some landlubber's butt. Unless it's a ninja. Then the pirates don't even know what hit them.

Cryptic Angel: Yeah, he probably would. It snowed here. Like, four years ago. It was a whole one inch, too! That almost NEVER happens where I live. I love it when it snows, though!

Yokokitsu: AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW! That's so sweet! cuddles Thanks so much! I'm glad I can make you laugh! Ah! I feel all special now! goes cuddles all cute things, including this one guy. pft. Yeah, right

Serenity Maxwell: Yes, poor Train! I'm glad that you like it!


	21. Pirates of the Carribean Part Three

A/A: Listening to good music while writing will either help you...or totally distract you! hums along to...THE KILLERS!

Disclaimer: PotC belongs to Disney. Black Cat characters belong to not me. Karma's sexy little rear, however, is mine. (yes, Karma has a nice butt. God, I'm pathetic)

Chapter Twenty-one: More PIRATES! GAR! (yes, SpaceJunk, it is "gar")

"CUT, **CUT, _FRIGGING CUT!_**" shouted Rinslet at the top of her lungs. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO **FUNNY** BELZE! IT WON'T KILL YOU TO SMILE!"

Belze glared at her from stage, looking uncomfortable in his bright red uniform. "You're the one that cast me in this role. Don't blame me. I didn't want it."

It was all Rins could do to keep from exploding, "People, we open TOMORROW! And I don't think we're ready!"

Indeed, the Yuraful High School musical was not going good by any means. Elizabeth thought his skirt made his butt look big. No matter how many times they explained that that was the style then, he refused to get it and was crying in the bathroom. Will was not helping the matter by alternately shooting at Elizabeth or teasing him about the dress. Captain Barbossa was never able to do her scene's with Captain Jack because she would always start blushing and forgetting her lines. Captain Jack kept getting mad at Will, and British Soldier number two kept lightening the curtain on fire.

And that was just the beginning of the list. Charden kept being emo and cutting himself, and Karma was either never anywhere to be found or always falling asleep.

Rinslet looked at the people running around on stage and sat down. She then proceeded to sob huge, wracking sobs.

Everyone quitted, and Train ran down into the seats to her.

"Rins, Rins," he said, shaking her shoulder's gently, "what's wrong, Rins?"

Rinselt looked up at him, her lower lip quivering. "I...I..."stuttered out.

"Yes," Train urged, "What is it?"

"I STUBBED MY TOE ON THE SEAT!"

There was a pause.

Then silence.

Then another pause.

"Rins," Train said slowly.

"Yes, Train?"

Train grabbed Rinslet by her shoulders and stood her up, looking straight into his eyes as he said, "Rinslet, I promise you that this will the most bad ass Pirates of the Caribbean ever."

Rinslet sniffled. "Thanks, Train." she said.

"NOW NEVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!" he shouted, slamming his forehead against hers, and strolling back onto the stage.

A/N: I'm sick. My nose is stuffy and my throat is icky. Bleh. Now that school is in full swing, I'm afraid I won't really get to update unless it is a weekend, just because of homework and what not. God, I hate homework. I also hate not being able to breathe. Next up will be the final part of the PotC saga. Maybe. Unless I write something else first. I did have an idea, only I've now totally forgotten. I should start writing things down, shouldn't I? Bleh.

Cookies for Reviewers: (even though I'm going to start replying to reviews, I'm going to keep this section, because I like it)

Serenity Maxwell: BUBBLES! Hey, did anyone catch that they were our favorite lime mango peach scented ones?

Yokokitsu: ALZIED! ANIME GUYS! swoons

mahoakitti: indigent Of course you are worthy! I will PM you later about your idea...evil chuckle

SpaceJunk: You don't email me anymore. Of course, I never really email you either...

Cryptic Angel: WRITING MORE! Hurrah for old American cartoons that are (for the most part) a lot better than the new crappy ones they're coming out. This is why we love anime...it's better.


	22. Fullmetal Assassin

A/A: Don't get sick. It's not fun.

Disclaimer: Neither Black Cat or Fullmetal Alchemist belong to me. To those of you who don't know about FmA, basically all you need to know for this story is that auotmail is prosthetic limbs made of metal that function like normal limbs. Basically. Yeah. Winry is the main character - Ed's - best childhood friend and prospective girlfriend. (I hope) She's also an automail mechanic. And, uh, normally when you get your automail for the first time, you have to go through all this painful surgery and stuff like that, but for simplicity's we're gonna skip that, 'kay?

Chapter 22: Fullmetal Assassin

Train dragged Rinslet out of the pond they dived into out after the fall from Lunafort Tower.

"Gah..."he gasped. This is...bad...It won't stop bleeding." He looked at the blood that gushed from his stump of a right arm.

Suddenly he heard a foot step behind him. Drawing his gun and moving faster than the eye could see, he whirled to face the approaching person.

He had to pause for a second. The approaching person shocked him. It was a girl of about fourteen or fifteen, with long blonde hair tied up in a ponytail. Under an unbuttoned baggy mechanic's jacket she wore nothing more than a purple sash wrapped around her chest. A red bandana covered her head, and a pair of gloves took care of her hands.

The next thing Train knew, a wrench was connecting solidly with his head.

"STUPID!" the girl shouted at him, "DON'T POINT THAT THING AT PEOPLE!"

Train put his good hand on his head, and whimpered as she approached.

"Hey, don't whine," the girl said, a little more kindly, "this will only hurt a bit."

Before Train had a chance to react, the girl was pressing something cold against his arm. Then pain like he had never known before was lancing through him.

"AH!" he cried.

But the girl didn't do anything. Her brow furrowed as she concentrated. After what seemed too long to Train, she sat back with a sigh.

"There you go," she said, sighing contentedly.

To his amazement, Train was able to flex the metal fingers.

"Who are you?" he asked, awe evident in his voice.

"Oh. Well, you can just call me Winry. I'm a automail mechanic," she sighed. "Oh, god, I'm going to be late for Ed?"

"Ed, who's Ed?" Train asked.

"Oh, Ed's my friend. And he gets mad when I'm not there at his beck and call," Winry scowled. Standing, she brushed herself off, and said without turning, "Oh, and don't worry about the bill. Your currency is worthless in my world."

And thus, did the Black Cat become...

**THE FULLMETAL ASSASSIN!**

A/N: AAAHHH! I GOTS THE HUG FROM XYZ! extremely happy He's sooo cool! UWAH! Ehem. Anyway. My cold is going away! Yay for nastily gross grape supposed to be tasting maximum strength cold getting rid of medicine! UWAH! 

Alrighty then. I hope that my wonderfully cool high school wins our homecoming game tonight. Especially after I marched in that homecoming parade in my summer blues. None of which are blue or cool. YAY FOR PARADES !AND MARCHING IN THEM WITH XYZ! BECAUSE YOU GET HUGS FROM HIM AFTERWORDS! UWAH! Oh, god, I'm hyper!


	23. Babysitter Train

A/A: Go to all costs necessary to avoid mornings.

Disclaimer: If I owned Black Cat, I would still be sleeping. But I'm not. Though what they have to do with one another, I HAVE NO IDEA!

Chapter Twenty-Three: Train? Baby-sit? This Isn't Going to be Good!

Train stared at the lump Rinslet was holding out to him. It wiggled. He jumped.

"Rins..." he asked slowly, "What is that, exactly?"

Rinslet rolled her eyes in disgust. "It's a baby, moron."

"Rins..." he asked slowly, "Why do you have a baby?"

Rinslet rolled her eyes in disgust. "My cousin needed a baby-sitter, and thought I qualified for the job."

"Rins..." he asked slowly, "Why did you bring the baby here?"

Rinslet didn't roll her eyes in disgust, "Well, I have a job that is very important, so the baby-sitter, in short, needs a baby-sitter, and I thought you would be perfect!"

"Rins..." Sven asked slowly, "What on earth made you think that Train would be a good baby-sitter?

Rinslet paused, not knowing what to say exactly. "You know," she said after a while, "I don't know why. He's the only person I know in this area, I guess."

It was Sven's turn to role his eyes in disgust. "That does not make him the perfect baby-sitter!"

Train chimed in angrily, "Hey, Sveny-baby, are you saying I can't take care of this kid for..." he paused, thrown off, "How long are we looking at, exactly, Rins?"

Rins shrugged. "Dunno. An hour, maybe two."

Train turned to Sven. "I can take care of this baby for two hours!" he said triumphantly.

"Fine!" exclaimed Sven exasperatedly, "But don't come running to me when you need help!"

"Don't worry, I won't!" replied Train, grabbing the baby from Rins, who called out to him as he left, "Um, Train, YOU'RE HOLDING HIM UPSIDE DOWN!"

  

Rinslet had only been gone ten minutes before things started going wrong. Really, really wrong.

So wrong, in fact, that Train began to wonder if it would be easier to just kill himself.

The baby would not stop crying. Train tried bouncing him up and down like he had seen mothers do in parks, and rocking him as well. He offered him one of the bottles Rinslet had left, but the baby kept refusing.

Eve came in to see what all the fuss was about. "Um...Train..." she asked, "What is that smell?"

Train was on the verge of tears. "I don't know!" he wailed.

Suddenly, a voice said dramatically, "Well, I think it would be obvious what that smell is!"

Train and Eve whirled, only to find themselves face to face with Shiki.

"What are you doing here?" cried Train, drawing Hades.

"Oh, calm down," said Shiki, walking forward to pick up the baby. "I was spying on you for Creed, and I saw you abusing this poor child, so I came to help."

"I wasn't abusing him!" protested Train.

Shiki said nothing, just put the baby on Trains desk. He then preceded to take off the babe's clothes and open his diaper as Train and Eve watched in horrified fascination. The mess and the accompanying smell was enough to make their minds reel in horror.

Quickly and efficiently, Shiki changed the baby's diaper, cleaned his rear, and patted on a new diaper.

"There you go," Shiki said, "I would recommend putting him down for a nap soon, then he'll wake up hungry. Burp him, and then his diaper will probably need to be changed again." here he paused, "I'm going now, and Creed and the other Apostle of the Stars are never to know of this, alright?"

Shiki turned on his heel and began to march out the door when Eve reached over and grabbed the feather on top of his hood. The hood fell off, and Train and Eve gasped as Shiki turned in anger towards them.

Shiki as it turned out, was not, in fact, a male. Shiki was very female. A very young, pretty female.

"Wha...but...how?" asked Train.

Shiki glared at him. "I was the oldest of five. My parents were killed in a hit and run. I was the one that took care of my siblings. I joined Creed so that no child would ever be parentless again."

Train and Eve looked at each other. "What made you open up?"

Shiki just turned and walked out.

A/N: Damn it! THE ENDING SUCKS! bangs head Oh god, I'm tired. I had such a fucking bad fucking day. please pardon my French You know, sometimes it hurts more to be the one not knowing what to do to help, then being the victim themselves. kicks wall until her foot falls off Alright, I'm going to go take my bad mood somewhere else. I won't take it out on you. I'm changing the rating to T. I'm not sure if they allow "fuck" in K+...that and it might get T-ish in the future. Who knows?

Kudos for Reviewers:

Cryptic Angel: As my math teacher says, "Because the sun rises in the east and sets in the west and the grass turns brown in the winter and that's the way it is. You don't need to know why." Sorry...what you said just reminded me of that.

Serenity Maxwell: BUBBLES! I stub my toe on everything. I run into everything. I can't believe I haven't put myself in the hospital yet. Wait...no...never mind, I have done that before. Just once though, I promise! heart Roy

mahoakitti: weep Yeah, I need to finish the PotC arc up! But I'm such a slacker...bleh.

I'll always be here to motivate you! Yeah...falls asleep on desk

SpaceJunk: FMA rocks, so I don't know what you're talking about. evil glare

Yokokitsu: I CAN DO IT! I can say "drabbles for Dazzle" ten times fast! It wasn't easy, but that's drama training for you. I just got the third Dazzle. It was sooo good! heart Alzeid

Elie: Yeah, he smacked her. I got smacked today...yeah...


	24. Disasters Part One

A/A: Whenever you read, make sure you watch were you're going. You never know when you will run into something. not that I ever had...

Disclaimer: I wanna skip this part.

Chapter Twenty-Four: The Disaster of the Century Begins

The house lights dimmed. The stage lights came up slowly. The sound of a flushing toilet rand out over the stunned audience.

"Tell. Creed. To. Turn. His. Damn. Mike. Off. Next. Time." hissed Rinslet to her stage manager, Shiki, through her headset.

"Well do," muttered Shiki back.

The band struck up the opening number, and out onto stage was pushed a boat, filled with British sailors and a young Elizabeth turner.

Rinslet watched from the light booth like a hawk watches it's prey. The opening scene went smoothly. Then it was time for Creed to come on.

Things immediately feel apart. Way, way, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay apart.

So apart that when Rinslet feel down in a dead faint on the light board, the crowd was in such an uproar that no one really noticed.

Creed came out with a rather large bullet hole in his hand.

Then Trian followed close behind, and no one could then really blame him for shooting Creed, once they knew the reason. "I SWEAR TO GOD THAT IF I EVER FEEL YOUR HAND ANY WHERE NEAR MY PRIVATES AGAIN I WILL TAKE YOURS AND MAIL THEM TO YOUR MOTHER!"

Rins woke up abruptly and the light and sound board ops left just as abruptly.

They saw the look in her eye.

They knew what was coming.

This would not end well. Not well at all. For anyone.

A/N: Lately I've felt kind of invisible. Like if I cry out, no one will hear me. But that's why I have fanfic. Because I don't need to speak to be heard. Wow, doesn't that sound nice.

Cookies for Reviewers: (I think I've gotten more for that last chapter than ever before)

ttoad: Yes...trainrins. Don't worry...evil glint of evil glints My plan for the resolution of this little arc...well, don't want to spoil it, do we?

Cryptic Angel: Here, POTC! I hope you're happy! bursts into tears JK. My sister and I were making fun of soap operas earlier. Yeah. Oh, when boredom is the muse, take a look at what happens.

requime17: Your review was...um...THANKS FOR REVIEWING! jk. DECEMBER IS MY BIRTHDAY! YEAH FOR SAGITTARIUS! Shiki is not a girl as far as I know of. Thought who knows? We must all fail sometimes, because it is human nature.

Spacejunk: My opinion is the only one that matters. You of all people should know that. I mean, gosh, you went out with me. Jk. I value your opinion...

Serenity Maxwell: I always stub my toe. And run into things. And say stupid things. Especially in geography, even though it's one of my favorite classes. Ex..."Why don't people live in wetlands?" Me: Because they're sinky! and "What are the two least populated land areas on Earth?" correct answer: poles my answer: The oceans? bangs head Mogget-chan no baka!

mahaokitti: Shiki. Yeah. No one cares about Shiki. Who is he again? jk...

Ultra Special Bonus Chapter: The Death of People (I have no idea what a coroner's report looks like, so don't kill me if you know, kay? I tried to think of the most ironic way for them to die.)

I, the coroner of wherever the hell this is, here do by declare the following CODs to be the real things.

Train: Hit in the occipital lobe with a swing. COD, major bleeding intracranial bleeding.

Sven: Lung cancer. To many cigarettes. Tiggermyk and Mogget knew it would happen, but would he listen? noooooooooooo. He just kept his gentleman's indulgences.

Eve: Spontaneous combustion. Jealous rage over Sven and Train's relationship.

Rinslet: Choked on a pea. Train walked by without his shirt. author chokes on pink lemonade at just the thought

Creed: ODed on Viagra.


	25. Disasters Part Two

A/A: Never reread a chapter you wrote really late, when you're half asleep, because then you find all these stupid typos...and you feel really stupid...

Disclaimer: I do not own any cat, including _Black Cat_, because my dear mother is allergic. I do, however, have a dog, a gerbil, and a ferret. cuddles

Chapter Twenty-Five: author ran for her life from Rinslet and isn't here to name this chapter. Darn, what a shame

The cast of PotC huddled in the green room in a tight knot. All, save Creed, who was in the hospital, who was praying that this torment ended soon.

To say that Rins wasn't mad would be like saying Mt. Saint Helen's only let out a little steam, the oceans weren't all that deep, and North Pole was only a little bit nippy, and that USC and Clemson only had a friendly little rivalry.

Never before had the earth witnessed such a rage. It billowed out of Rins in the form of tears, harsh words and objects being thrown around the room in such a way that Newton's second law of motion (force equal mass times acceleration) was proven: put enough force behind a piece of chalk, and it's gonna hurt, no matter where it hits.

"HOW COULD YOU PEOPLE?!?!!" Rins screamed, "I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SHOW MY FACE IN THE ACTING COMMUNITY AGAIN!! YOU PEOPLE HAVE RUINED ME!!" she sat down and began sobbing.

No one dared to breathe for a moment, but then, hesitantly, Train got up and went to her. He put out his hand to touch her back, but she swatted it away impatiently.

"Come on, Rins," he said encouragingly, "there's always tomorrow night."

Rins looked up and glared at him through her tears. "How will it be better, TRAIN?" she demanded, "NO one will WANT to COME and WE don't HAVE a fucking Elizabeth because you fucking shot that bastard Creed in his fucking HAND!!!!"

Train looked at the ground and whistled, muttering something about it wasn't his fault, he didn't over react, anybody would have shot Creed if they found the little motherfucker's hand near their privates.

Karma stood up. "YO!! Missus Director Lady Ma'am!! I have a wee likkle suggestion," he said in an overly loud, annoyingly cheerful voice.

"WHAT???" shrieked Rins, and everyone but Karma flinched back.

"Weeeeeeeeeel," Karma said slowly, "I was thinking, after all of that blood, there are lotsa crazies who is gonna show up." he paused, and everyone nodded thoughtfully, except Rins, who just stared at him, dumbfounded.

"And secondly," he paused here to give a discreet little cough, "well, this might not be entirely legal, buuuut," he paused again, and everyone leaned forward, "you said no one would 'want' to come, which got me thinking..." he blushed and looked away, as if ashamed.

"Well?" asked Rins, intrigued in spite of herself.

"HOLDRANDOMSTRANGERSATGUNPOINTANDFORCETHEMINTOTHETHEATRE!!!" he blurted.

There was a pause, as almost everyone sat up straight, evil glints in their eyes. "It'll work," they said in unison.

"Okay, so was solved our audience problem," said Rins slowly, "but what about an Elizabeth?"

It was Karma's turn to glint evilly.

"Why," he said with cruel relish, "you, of course."

note, we the editors (aka the authors other personalities) decided that first the silence and then the profanities that followed wouldn't interest our readers, so we cut them all out. Mogget: (the real author) ACTUALLY, I just have a migraine and don't feel like writing it. Beehehehehehelaughs at the genius behind her laziness

Rinslet couldn't believe that they had managed to convince her to be Elizabeth. She stood sweating backstage, waiting for her first entrance, amazed at how crammed the theatre was.

But then again, she mused, Karma and Train had had entirely too much fun with the whole "strangers at gunpoint" thing, remembering the maniacal looks on their face as yet another hapless victim was forced into the auditorium.

Her entrance was coming up.

A/N: Sorry for the late update. Between migraines and rehearsals and other meetings and baby-sitting and and and whatever else, I feel like EXPLODING!! maniacal laughter HAPPY B-DAY TO CRYSY-CHAN, MY POOR EMO FRIEND WHO JUST TURNED FOURTEEN!! breaks out sobbing She called me old! I'm not old!! I'm only a year older than her!! That's not old, is it?

DRAMA TEACHERS ARE DELUSIONAL CREATURES THAT THINK THEIR ACTORS HAVE ONLY TIME FOR THEM AND NOTHING ELSE IN THEIR LIFE IS IMPORTATNT AND THAT THEY CAN DROP IT ALL JUST TO COME TO REHERSAL TO BE AT THEIR BECK AND CALL, AND I SAY, SCREW MY DRAMA TEACHER BECAUSE I FUCKING SKIPPING REHERSAL TODAY BECAUE I HAVE A FUCKING MIGRAINE!!! Wow, that felt really nice, just to vent like that. Sorry to anyone who happens to be related to drama teachers, like Frizz, my friend who's mother is the drama teacher I just told everyone to go screw. heheheheheh PILLS MESS WITH YOUR HEADS!!

Homemade brownies with mini M&Ms on top to my reviewers. wow, those things are good. Made some last week. YURMY IN MA TUMMY!!

requim17: sigh Thank you for the cyber-hug. It does help, really. So do powdered donuts. I'm so tired. wonders off randomly to look for bed Damnit, the only reason I'm even up right now is because of some flipping power tools across the street that continue to rob me of my sleep. kicks construction workers

SpaceJunk: I'm worried...I've heard things about that guy you've been hanging out with recently. DON'T TURN INTO A DRUGGIE OR I SWEAR I WILL...evil whisper make you sorry. Seriously though, be careful. I know you hate me now.

CrypticAngel: 00 uwaaaaaaaaah, I LOVE THAT IDEA!! CAN I STEAL IT, CAN I STEAL IT?!?!?!?!

Serenity Maxwell: It might end well. But then again, what would be the fun of that? maniacal laughter

mahoakitti: Creed's was my favorite, too.

Yokokitsu: Hurm...Sven and Train, I dunno. That kind of thing would be hard to pull off and still make it good. has a sudden idea Scratch that last part. You'll get your shonen ai soon enough. goes off to plan diabolical plans


	26. Pirates of the Carribean FINAL

A/A: Never go off into fit of hysterics in orchestra, because then the teacher is convinced that you are insane.

Disclaimer: If I owned BC - which I don't - then the next volume would be out NOW and I would have it, instead of having to wait another two weeks or so.

Chapter Twenty-Six: THE FINAL PART OF PotC!! OOOOHHHHH!!!!!

Rinslet Walker had passed Cloud Nine sometime ago. She was so above the clouds that...well...let's just say that she was up there.

She couldn't believe how well everything was going. Everyone knew their lines. Everyone knew their blocking. Everything was going smooth.

On stage at least.

Backstage it was hell come to earth. Karma was no where to be found, and neither were half the props and costumes. Sven had been smoking, and so when the curtain caught on fire...thankfully it was during a fight scene and no one in the audience could distinguish between the acted screams and the real ones.

But Rins didn't care.

Because she didn't know. Ah, how ignorance is bliss!

Shiki, however, was close to having hysterics. Not only did he half to call out the light and sound cues, but had to worry about everyone's missing things.

"Go look behind the prop table!" he hissed when he could. "That's were they usually end up!!"

Then: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN KARMA'S MISSING???? GO FIND HIM!! HE'S ON IN TWO!!!"

Charden scowled and begin searching the faces back stage. Again.

When he didn't see Karma, he just went ahead to his entrance, drawing up in his head how he could just wing it. Then, Karma popped up.

"Yo!"

Charden almost had a heart attack. "Where the hell have you been??" he whisper-screamed.

"Huh?"

Charden was about to reach out and strangle him when Karma grabbed his hands, saying cheerfully, "Look, it's time for us to go on!"

Rinslet licked her lips. Her least favorite part was coming up. It was almost time for her to kiss Train. She really liked him - like, really, really liked him - but that didn't mean she wanted to KISS HIM!!

But your fate is inescapable. Train said his line, and then moved forward a step, and grabbed Rins by her waist and dipped low.

Rins breath caught in her throat. _Oh, wow!_ was all she could think, _This is...niiiice._

Offstage everyone stared in shock.

"Um...hey Eve..." asked one of Eve's friends, "weren't they supposed to stop by now?

But Eve couldn't answer because she and Sven were also sucking face somewhere else.

A/N: I can do that last part with Eve and Sven because they're in high school, not like, 11 and 31. That would be just gross. Ah, I love fanfics, because you can do whatever you want!! evil grins OH!! Halloween is coming up!! Is anyone else out there as excited about this as I am?? I'm cosplaying as Vash!! YAY!!! does her happy dance FREE CANDY!!!

SpaceJunk: Why, of course you're scared!! You actually live close enough that if I decided to carry out any of my evil schemes...heh heh heh...

Serenity Maxwell: Sorry for the late update!! Excuse this time: Rehearsals are sucking out my soul and I'm losing motivation...yeah...

Cryptic Angel: TRAIN AND RINS!! YAY!! This chappy for you!!

Yokokitsu: I'm going to profile Karma below, just for you! YAY!!

requim17: YAY!! Meh lurvs Karma!! He's my kitty cat!! WOOT!! I wish I could meet someone like him. sigh Oh, well, I know lots of other great guys...like SpaceJunk!! YAY!!

And now...an extra special profile of Karma!!

Height: 6' 1.3458"

Weight: How much should he weigh?? not good with this kinda thing I'll just say 150 lbs. Tell me if that sounds right, pleez!!

Looks like: Black hair going everywhere, green eyes, pale skin and delicate features. All angles and muscle.

Accent: Whatever one he feels like that day.

Age: Heh heh heh...he's Karma, he's been around for a while...heh heh heh.

Likes: Super sweet, super sour, or super spicy things, loud music, writing poetry, seducing girls, giving people what they deserve.

Dislike: Stupidity, silence, boring things, people who get away from their evil deeds.

Special talents: Showing up at the last possible minute, annoying the heck out of people, ignoring the "obvious" signs that what he's doing is a bad idea, making bad idea work out.

YAY KARMA!!


	27. To Speedfish

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

It started out as just a normal day for the sweepers. They swept, and then rewarded themselves with - in Train's case in any event - a huge dinner.

As they walked home on the nippy Autumn night, Sven and Train chatting amiably as Eve sipped some hot cocoa, Eve suddenly spotted something strange.

Lying on the side of the road was an oddly shaped lump. Walking to it, Eve soon saw that it was a dog. She reached out to pet it, noticing how it wasn't reacting to her at all.

"Sven," she asked, "what's wrong with this puppy?"

Sven and Train looked over and then looked at each other, silent.

"Well," asked Eve.

"Um, Eve," Sven said gently, "he's dead."

Eve looked at her, and her lower lip began trembling.

"Hey, come on," Train said, "it's okay, it happens all the time."

"It's still sad, though."

Sven sighed, "Of course, it is. It always is. But it doesn't stop it."

Train sighed as well. "No, nothing can stop death."

A/N: This chapter is dedicated in loving memory to our miniature daschund, Speedfish, who died today. breaks into sobs I was the last person to hold him, and he was really sick, and he was my baby, and I really, really miss him. So if you're the praying type, then please say a pray for him.


	28. Shonen Ai?

A/A: No matter how happy you are that you get to give certain members of the male gender home, always, always, ALWAYS look both ways before you cross the street, if you want to avoid getting run over, that it.

Disclaimer: Very similar to how the above mentioned person isn't mine (he has a girlfriend...damn) Black Cat isn't mine. Why is all the good stuff in life taken?

Chapter Twenty-Eight Shonen Ai?

Rins and Eve could not believe their eyes. Was this really happening? Rins handed the binoculars back to Eve.

"I...I...don't know what to say..." she gasped.

Eve adjusted the binoculars and peered through them again, saying nothing for a long while.

"There must be...has to be...something more to it!" she said finally, still in disbelief at what she was seeing.

It has all started when Sven had asked Rinslet to watch Eve for a while ("Yes, Eve, I know that you are perfectly able to take care of yourself, but it makes me feel better knowing there's someone here with you.") while he and Train went on a special mission. Not trusting them in the least, Eve and Rins had followed them to a posh hotel, where they sat at the café across the street to watch what happened.

They could not believe their eyes.

Train stared up at Sven as he lay on the bed of the hotel, Sven over him. Sniffing delicately, he inhaled the smell of fresh soap that rolled of Sven, along with his own unique scents. Sven's mint green hair dripped cold shower water onto Train's hot face, doing nothing to cool it.

As Train stared up at Sven, Sven stared down at Train. His eyes were molten gold that drew you in and didn't let you go. His hair was so thick and chocolately, and Sven just wanted to eat Train right along with it.

Train ran his pink tongue slowly along his tender looking lips, and Sven inhaled sharply.

"Are you ready?" asked Train, "because he's coming."

"Ready and more than willing," Sven replied.

Suddenly, the door burst open and the hotel manager burst in shouting, "DIE YOU GAY FREAKS!!" while firing shots randomly into the air.

Before he could react, Train was on top of him, Hades to his head. "We're straight sweepers who hate your guts for making us do that, because our mistrusting friends who followed us probably will never speak to us again, and we're here to bring you in."

Train started to march him out when Sven, who was pulling on the rest of his clothes said, "Um...Train, you might want to get dressed before you go outside," and then he added as an afterthought as Train blushed furiously, "Though I'm sure Rins won't mind."

A/N: So did you guys like it??!?!? It's for Yokokitsu, who wanted some shonen ai. So, even though it's not quite shonen ai, I hope you like! I'm feeling better then I was on Tuesday. Which is good. (It's because I got hugs from the guy I like!!) I also probably won't be updating next week because OUR SHOW OPENS!!! We'll be ready. Yeah, we will!! tries to convince self Have good weekends and weeks, my peeps!! (HA!! IT ALMOST RYHMES!! yeah, I'm hyper)

Wonderful Dark Chocolate Cookies with cloves, nutmeg, and cinnamon in them. Sooo good!!

Yokokitsu: I attempt to play cello! I love fanfics!! What's the point of staying in character for drabbles??? THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MESSED UP!! YAY!! does happy dance Thanks for keeping me and my baby in your prayers!

Cryptic Angel: AHH!! Maybe...I dunno...I might, if you keep reviewing!! Just kidding. Yeah, I'll do an encore PotC sometime, most definitely. I'm glad you like it!!

shinigami109: Oh, thanks for telling me that. That's cool!! Please keep reading and reviewing!!

mahoakitti: Yes, it was very sad. weeps But I know he's in dog heaven now, which makes me happy!!

Serenity Maxwell: Thanks for the encouragement!! REHERSALS ARE ALSMOT DONE!! WOOT!!

Walk-the-Night-With-Me: AH!! WE'RE LOSING OUR MEMORIES TOGETHER!! EEP!!! You have a really cool pen name, by the way!!

requim17: FISH!! I have do idea how he was sick. Apparently he was throwing up the night before, and the next day, he just died. And I was the last one to hold him. Oh, I miss my baby! I'm drawing this picture of Karma, and I need to finish him, and then scan him into the computer, and then get a deviantart account, and then post him and I'm glad you like my stories!! EEK!! Mom wants to get on the computer now...so I gotta run!!

THANKS SO MUCH EVERYBODY WHO READS (and double thanks to those who review!!) YOU ARE ALL SO GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!


	29. A Kiss

A/A: It's not a very good idea to try and eat oranges while drawing, because there is just something about an orange stain that takes away from a drawing.

Disclaimer: Why don't I own BC? Because the sun rises in the east and sets in the west and the grass is green when it's warm. That's just the way it is.

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Why You Don't Step on Cracks

Rinslet was close to tears.

"Are you sure that was it?" demanded Rins.

"For the millionth time, yes, Rins, it was for undercover and nothing more!" exclaimed Train, getting frustrated now.

Meanwhile, Sven tried to avoid Eve's accusing glare. "Um, Eve, is there anything I can help you with?" he asked, nervously licking his lips.

"...no..."

"Ooooooooookaaaaay then...um...You believe us, right?" he asked.

Eve looked at him for another long moment. "...yes..."

"Well, uh, that's good..."

Train began to walk backwards, talking animatedly to the three of them. Suddenly, Sven tripped on a crack in the side walk. Forward he fell...bumping into Train, bringing them both tumbling down, only to land in a heap, all to on top of each other.

Yes, their lips were locked together.

Eve and Rins stared in horror for a moment as the two men began to scramble to try and get away from each other, both spitting and wiping their lips madly.

"I KNEW IT WAS A LIE!!" shouted Rinslet, turning and running away, sobbing madly.

Eve's lower lip began to quiver, and Sven jumped to his feet, trying to reassure her. But before he could speak, she had turned on her heel and was following Rinslet closely.

"Oh, great. Now what do we do?" asked Sven.

A/N: Yes, yes...what will they do?? Huh. I guess I ended updating sooner than I thought. Which is good, I guess. Yesh. I just got the third XXXHolic today. I lurv Clamp artwork!! huggles Watanuki and Domeki-kun I'm suffering from sugar deprivation. I haven't had a single sweet thing today!! MUST GO EAT ICE CREAM!! YEAH!!

Ice Cream for Reviewers:

Serenity Maxwell: Not expecting is what makes reading fun. Sometimes, I don't even know how my chapters will end!!

Walk-the-Night-With-Me: Ooohhhh...this chappie for you! YAY!! Yeah...if readers have chapter requests, I'd be more than happy to do it!! If I can!!

mahoakitti: hugs innocent mahokitti YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT LONG!! YAY!!

Cryptic Angel: Thanks!! Oh, won't they just have so much fun explaining? whistles innocently Wait, I can't whistle!!

Yokokitsu: I hope you didn't have to wait to long!! I'm glad you enjoyed!!


	30. Two in One

A/A: Never let your friends sit on your lap, because then your other "friends" take advantage of that and steal your skull named George (who is the remains of my baby, used to be black and a monkey, but then he died and became a monkey, so now he's just my lesbian lover - ...I was hyper...) and your special hat.

Disclaimer: I LOVE BLACK CAT SO MUCH THAT I WOULDN'T DARE TRY AND OWN IT BECAUSE I WOULD RUIN IT!!! There, happy now?

Chapter Thirty - Two in One

Little Story Number One: Eyeliner

Train was walking past Rinslet's room when he heard her mutter a curse sharply. Curious, he poked his head inside the door and saw her sitting at her vanity mirror, putting on eye liner.

"Does that really hurt? If it does, why do you put it on?"

Rins turned on him in disgust, "No, it doesn't hurt unless it goes into my eyes, and I put on so that I'll look goo..." suddenly she stopped mid-sentence, and an evil grin spread over her face.

"What is it?" asked Train, weary.

"Train," called Rins in a singsong voice, "could you come here and sit down for a minute or two?"

"Why?"

"Oh, nothing..."lied Rins sweetly.

Stupidly enough, Train went to Rins, and before he knew it, he had him in the chair and was busy applying eye liner to his eyes.

"AGGG!! RINS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" he cried

"Oh, be quiet you big baby! It will be fine, just don't move!"

After a minute, she spun him around and he looked at himself in the mirror.

And didn't know what to think.

A/N: I'll leave the results up to your imagination...This was inspired by my friend doing my eyeliner every night for Pirates, and having way to much fun (swirls, dots, the whole shebang). But I don't mind to much, because I think it's what got me "The Sexiest Costume" paper plate award.

Little Story Number Two: Clicky Pen!

Searching desperately for something to write down a message for Sven, Train found it.

The clicky pen.

He pressed the button on the top and the pen came out, but when he went to retract it, he found it didn't work.

Curious, he looked over it. And then he spotted it. The button.

He pressed it, and then pen point retracted.

A slow grin spread over his face.

An hour later, Sven came home, and found Train crouched in the computer chair, same grin over his face and pressing the pen down, and then back up, over and over and over again.

Rolling his eyes, he walked back out.

A/N: SpaceJunk let me borrow a pen like that. It was one of the most fun things I've done all week. Hehehheheheheh. I LOVE AFI's "LOVE LIKE WINTER"!! IT IS THE COOLEST SONG!! I've listened to it, like, five times in a row!! YAY!! NO SKEWL TODAY!!! ELECTION DAY!! YAY!!

Cookies for Reviewers:

requim17: I was Vash for a costume party and a pirate for Halloween (rehearsal ran over, so I just went in my costume...) I AM THE MOST POLITICALLY inCORRECT PERSON YOU WILL EVER MEET!!

SpaceJunk: What do you mean "getting funnier"? huff JK. I still have your pen, by the way.

Serenity Maxwell: hhhmmm...Nah, I think it will be funnier making them try to explain it.

mahoakitti: You sound like you could be me! ICE CREAM AND FANFICS!! WOOT!!

o . O (crazy kitty!!)

Akuma Yinaku: Why thank you!! hugs

Yokokitsu: Actually I've read up to volume 8, but I'm just now buying them...heh...I LOVE WATANUKI AND DOMEKI!!

Cryptic Angel: evil chuckle That would be funny, wouldn't it?

Ms. Kreatopita: Is that an "OM-flippin'-G" I can't believe you did that I loved it...or and "OM-flippin'-G" I can't believe you did that you are a horrible person???


	31. The Tax Collector

A/A: Whatever you do, never take something for granted.

Chapter Thirty-One: The Tax Collector

The Lovely Authoress: So, Sven, I have a question that's been nagging me for quite a while.

Sven: Okay, shoot.

Train: in background begins firing Hades

Sven: NO, NOT YOU, YOU IDIOT!!

Train: sulks

Eve: ignores them all

Sven: So, what was your question?

The Lovely Authoress: Well...you're always complaining about how you're so deep into debt, so how come we never get to see the debt collectors?

Sven/Train/Eve: Uuuhhhhh...

Suddenly, there is a knock on the door. Cautiously, Train looks through the peep hole, and begins shouting, "Oh my god! She's back!"

Sven grabbed Eve and their bags while Train opened the window, and they all jumped out, driving out into the sunset as quick as they could, leaving the Lovely Authoress confused and very much alone.

All of a sudden, the door crashed open and a rather hassled looking woman in her mid twenties stumbled in after it.

"Where are they?" she asked a bit crazily. "Are you hiding them? You are aren't you?"

The Lovely Authoress begins to put the pieces together.

"Oh! I GET IT!" And then she disappeared back into her own world, just in time for dinner.

A/N: I swear, I'm losing it! I typed, "And suddenly there was a knock on the door bell." laughs crazily I hate math...weeps Raisins are good, though. Everyone should go watch _Host Club_. It's sooooooooo funny!! authoress collapses and refusing to wake up I'm tired.

Penguins to Reviewers: (Why penguins? You ask. Because penguins are pimping.)

SpaceJunk: YAY!! PEN!! Arigato!

Cryptic Angel: I love clicky pens! All the guy pirates had to wear eyeliner for Pirates of Penzance. Most of them looked hot in it.

Serenity Maxwell: I wouldn't mind seeing Train as a kid...heheheh.

Itty Bitty Fluffy Vampire: YAY!! huggles IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH, DAMNIT!! Awww. Just joking. I luvvvvv you!!

Akuma Yinaku: blushes Awwww. I don't know what to say! That's so sweet!! Thank you!! blushes Yes, Train is adorable!

mahoakitti: Eh?? They would kick you out of class? Okay, yeah, they would do that to us, too. sigh Oh, teachers. Do we love them or hate them? hugs We all love mahoakitti!!


	32. An Explanation

A/A: Don't make the readers mad...

Chapter Thirty-Two: A Resolution. Mostly, Anyway.

The two parties sat on opposite ends of the table. The accused sat with their eyes down, mumbling, sitting as far apart from each other as physically possible while still sitting at the table.

Party number two, the accusers, were completely opposite. They sat huddled together, gripping their mugs with white knuckled hands as they glared death glares down at Train and Sven.

"Come on, Rins," Train whined, "why don't you believe us?"

"Well, I don't know, Train," replied Rins, a bit hysterical, "why don't you think we believe you?"

"That's just it!" exclaimed Sven, "We don't get it! We've explained everything, multiple times! The first was a setup and the second was an accident!"

"Oh, yeah, right!" said Eve, sounding surprisingly childish for once, "do you know what that chances are of you both being in the exact place to kiss if one of you fell? And anyway, that seems like it could be the perfect cover up! 'An accident'!" She too, was beginning to sound hysterical.

Train sighed with exasperation, knocking his head against the table several times.

"Here, you want proof?" standing up, Train marched over to stand in front of Rinslet, who gulped, feeling very vulnerable with the infamous assassin so close that they were touching.

"Well?" he asked softly, "Do you?"

Gulping again, Rins managed out a rather pathetic little, "Yes?"

Reaching down to grab her by the waist, Train pulled her into a very long, very passionate kiss.

Eve stared in awe, and Sven just muttered about how he had no shame, at all, the stupid man.

When the kiss finally ended, Rins fell back into her seat in shock.

"Eve," she said, sounding strangled.

"Yes?" asked the still awed girl.

"I don't think they're gay."

Eve thought for a second.

"What if he's bi?"

Sven snorted and lit a cigarette, and Train was stunned. Grabbing Rinslet again, he kissed her even longer and more passionate than before.

When this kiss was finally over, Rinslet couldn't even fall over. She just swayed slightly.

"Eve?"

"Yes?"

"I don't think they're bi, either."

Eve nodded wisely, Train grinned like a satisfied tom cat, Sven wished they would all just go away, and Rinslet really, really wanted another kiss.

Train was a very good kisser.

A/N: WWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEE!! Don't you love me? I made them kiss!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! That was fun. What's not fun is being tickled down to the ground, that just happens to be asphalt. sigh A TWO DAY WEEK FOR US NEXT WEEK!! WOOT!!

Penguins for the Reviewers: (like I said, penguins are awesome. My sister calls me her penguin.)

SpaceJunk: glares GO AWAY!! If math was easy, I wouldn't be failing, would I? HUH?? sulks

Cryptic Angel: from the safety of a closet Here's your resolution!!

requim17: PENGUINS!! woot Yes, math is useless. That's why I'm going to be an English teacher.

mahoakitti: hugs YES, WE LUV SVEN!! Thanks for reviewing!!

Akuma Yinaku: weeps Yes, they're short. I didn't take offense. I hate writing short chapters, though. When I write "regular" stories, they're usually at least five pages. IT'S SO HARD TO MAKE DRABBLES LONG, GOSH DARN IT!!

Serenity Maxwell: gracious bow Thanks very much!!

Chamed-Envy-Fangirl: Who doesn't love penguins?? I luv Host Club!! You can have Hunny and Mori!! I want the twins!! evil grin


	33. Chocolate Cake

A/A: Eat chocolate cake. It's good for the soul.

Disclaimer: Oh, man, I forgot this the last time. Whoops. runs and hides from mean lawyers Anyway. I don't own it.

Chapter Thirty-three: Chocolate Cake

As they walked down the busy street, Sven, Train and Eve looked around them, hunting for a place for lunch.

It was a quaint little town, full of unusual vendors and thrift shops. The main street was filled with the hum of shoppers walking lazily around, just browsing. It was a peaceful place, in no hurry to catch up with the outside world.

"Sven," said Eve, "what does cake taste like?"

Sven turned to look at her quizzically. "What kind of question is that?" he asked, and then he saw where she was looking.

It was a bakery. The glass windows were filled with delectable looking goodies. It was a confectioner's delight! There were cakes and donuts and cupcakes and muffins and Danishes and crème puffs and every sort of sweet imaginable. The little cards in front of each sugary treat read names of every flavor: strawberry, banana-nut, chocolate, vanilla, blueberry, cinnamon, red velvet, yellow, marble, lemon and on and on.

"You've never given her cake?" asked an indignant voice. They turned and saw Rinslet, her hands on her hips, arms loaded up to the elbow with shopping bags.

"What are you, stalking us or something?" asked a shocked Train.

Rins gave him a strange look, "Noooooooooo. Of course not," she said, not at all reassuringly.

Train gave her an incredulous look, not trusting her a bit. (This probably being one of the few smart choices he had made regarding Rinslet Walker.)

Rins ignored the look, and instead grabbed Eve with one hand, dragging her into the shop.

"Come on," she said to the two men, looking over her shoulder, "It will be my treat!"

They followed her.

Train stifled laughter at the look on Eve's face as she gazed at the glass counters and their contents. He started twitching.

"You know, Sven," he said somewhat jittery, "I'm getting hyper just looking at all this sugar."

Sven groaned. "I noticed."

By this point, Rinslet had decided on what to get herself and Eve. For herself, she got a piece of red velvet cake with about an inch of vanilla icing and a strawberry. For Eve she got what the baker fondly called "the sweetest way to die: death by chocolate." The cake was three layers, dark chocolate, white chocolate and milk chocolate. Each layer was separated by half an inch of mint chocolate icing and on top of the cake was a mix of two different types of chocolate icing, on top of which was sprinkled chocolate sprinkles, chocolate crumbs, and chocolate syrup. On the side was a scoop of chocolate-fudge ice cream.

"Oh. My. God," was all Sven had to say, and Train was to busy salivating to say anything at all.

"Okay boys," Rinslet said, "pick out what you want for yourself."

Sven got a piece of cinnamon cake, and Train just got a vanilla milkshake.

Sitting down at a table by the window, Eve watched them each take a bite of their treat to judge their reactions.

Rinslet let out a grin of satisfaction, and Sven smiled quietly. Train just gave a satisfied smirk and drank faster.

"Aren't you going to try it?" asked Rinslet.

"Yes, I am," said Eve, and slowly picked up her fork. Stabbing the front of the cake carefully, she dabbed it in the ice cream and brought it up to her pink little mouth. As she chewed slowly and with consideration, they watched her, wondering how she would react.

Swallowing, she opened her eyes. A glint that hadn't been present before was there.

"Um, Eve?" asked Sven, concerned, "Are you alright?"

"Yes, Sven, I'm fine."

But the glint was still there.

Rinslet smiled triumphantly, saying, "Sven, Train, Eve has now had her first bite of chocolate cake, and is now a full-fledged woman!" turning to Eve, she said, "Now Eve, there are several important things about chocolate that you must know! It is your only real friend, whenever you are upset or in pain, it will always cheer you up. Chocolate does not make you fat. People jealous of your eating chocolate make you fat, because they jinx you..."

A/N: Wow, it's exactly two pages! So, how was everyone's thanksgiving? Mine was good. Yummy food!! And yesterday was my mother's big 5-0 birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!! By the way, does anybody know how to change a profile. Tigermyk and I couldn't figure it out...eh... Hours Later: I've been trying to update all day, and the damn website won't let me!! flicks off website I mean, what? Anyway. Some good news: Carolina just beat Clemson for the first time in fours years. This is a very good thing!!!! (bragging rights for a year) It is now the third day that I have attempted to update. Let's see if it works...

Penguins for Reviewers:

SpaceJunk: There are so many things I could put here. Not 'there is so many.' Did you pay any attention last year? I like Dr. B.

Serenity Maxwell: All girls that are sane and straight want Train. drools I know I want Train!

Cryptic Angel: I am the master of craziness, thankee!

Chamed-Envy-Fangirl: Yes, food ish yummy!! Thanks for Hikaru and Karuo! hugs possessively

requim17: PENGUINS 'n' PILGRIMS!! WOOT! I saw Happy Feet... OMIGOSH, I LUVED IT!! LUVED IT LUVED IT LUUUUVED IT!!!! blushes You're really too kind. I'm not as funny as you think I am.

mahoakitti: Yes, I'm sure that Train is a very good kisser! WEEEE!! I'm so jealous of Rins, too.

Itty Bitty Fluffy Vampire: glomps DUCKIE!!!!!


	34. Karma's Answers

A/A: Losing your glasses isn't even fun, because you need them to read when you aren't wearing your contacts.

Disclaimer: BC does not really belong to me. Technically. In my heart it doesn't, though. Also, the questions and the idea behind the questions belong to MAHOAKITTI!! Go check out her wonderful stories!! PLEZ!!! She's really good!! Question 13 is copy right to Bill Waterson.

Chapter Thirty-Four: Karma's Questions

Karma sat crossed legged in front of his laptop, drinking a cup of herbal tea. With a satisfied sigh, he reflected on the recent events.

Creed was being hunted by Train, for revenge for Saya Mitsuki, who died for Train's sings. Karma was ancient, and whenever he found some mortals to toy with, it was bad for them, because he gave them exactly what they deserved, no matter who got hurt in the process.

He was very proud of his twisted sense of humor.

Suddenly, the computer chimed, and the message "You Have Mail" popped up. Opening it, he found one of those chain mails sent from some kid in high school that he had done a play with. Charden something or other. With nothing better to do, he answered the questions.

_Okay, you (1) Copy; paste, the whole works... and (2) erase MY answers and put in YOURS, and finally (3) send it to EVERYONE, including me! You never know, you just might learn something! _

_1. FIRST & MIDDLE NAME? Bond. Karma Bond. (jk...) I don't have a last name. _

_2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No. I am the antromorphic personification of the force of called Karma. Burn you nonbelievers._

_3. DO YOU HAVE A BEST FRIEND? No. I only have mortal toys. _

_4. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? I make people cry. I don't cry._

_5. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Well, I'm the only one that can read it, but I don't care. So yeah, I like it. _

_6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? BEEF!! _

_7. KIDS? I can't reproduce. But I can have sex. _

_8. WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Heck yes. I'm hot and sexy._  
_  
9. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? I have a flawless memory. I don't need to write things down._

_10. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Noooo, of course not. _

_11. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes. I don't trust humans with knives and my beautiful body._

_12. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? HECK YES!! _

_13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs._

_14. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I hate shoes._

_15. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? That's what women tell me..._

_16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? This ice cream from this one bakery that comes with this cake called "Death by Chocolate". YUM!!_

_17. SHOE SIZE? See question 14._

_18. RED OR PINK? Purple._

_19. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU? I love me. _

_20. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? I don't miss anybody._

_21. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? If I'm taking the time the answer these, then YES!!_

_22. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES YOU ARE WEARING? How many times must I tell you? I HATE SHOES! I'm wearing ripped up camos. _

_23. LAST THING YOU ATE? Smoked salmon with cream cheese on bread._

_24. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? AFI, "Love Like Winter"_

_25. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Green. Everybody loves green._

_26. FAVORITE SMELL? A woman's body. And cinnamon. _

_27. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? I don't own a phone._

_28. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Men: Their hair Women: Their chest. And butt. (no, I'm not bi, I can change my sex, if it so pleases me)_

_29. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Sure, why not? _

_30. FAVORITE DRINK? Herbal tea._

_31. FAVORITE SPORT? I find men grappling each other over a ball while sweating and wearing tights to be incredibly, incredibly gross._

_32. HAIR COLOR? Black._

_33. EYE COLOR? Green._

_34. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No. I have twenty-twenty vision. Unlike the authoresses._

_35. FAVORITE FOOD? CHOCOLATE!!_

_36. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? ...I like dancing penguins. _

_37. SHOWERS OR BATHS? Baths. They are best to take with another person. _

_38. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? I'm not wearing a shirt. Much to the authoresses delight._

_39. WHICH CELL PHONE COMPANY DO YOU USE? I thought I said, I DON"T HAVE A PHONE!!_

_40. HUGS OR KISSES? Why can't I have both, damnit?!?!?_

_41. FAVORITE DESSERT? Chocolate covered fruit._

_42. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? My sister, Fate._

_43. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? My brother, Sloth. _

_44. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Black Cat, Howl's Moving Castle and Fantasy Lover. _

_45. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don't have a mouse pad._

_46. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Criminal Minds._

_47. FAVORITE SOUNDS? I think children might read this, so I'll just say...a cello._

_48. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? AFI._

_49. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME? Eternity. _

_50. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I can play with humans. And change shape. And use telekinesis And telepathy. I could go on. _

_51. WOULD YOU SKYDIVE? HECK YES!! _

Sitting back with a sigh, Karma surveyed his answers, and then sent it on.

A/N: WE LOVE KARMA!! Guess what? TUESDAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!! I'll be 15!! Anyway. I guess there's not much more to say other than, HAPPY FEET IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!!

Dancing Penguins for Reviewers:

CrypticAngel: Yes, yes. nods wisely We luv Rins!!

SpaceJunk: There's a reason we have email. It's to talk. Reviews are supposed to be about the story.

Chamed-Envy-Fangirl: You'll need a bit more than just five pounds...XD It does sound good, doesn't it?

Draye: Hahaha! I like long reviews!! XD The BC/FMA was just a one shot, but if you'd like, I could try to bring it back...My Dad's brownies with M&Ms on top are the BEST!!

ttoad: Yes, all praise the almighty chocolate cake!!! .

mahoakitti: I hope your flu gets better. I'm a bit late, aren't I? Yes, chocolate cake is very good!! Thanks a gazillion times for letting me be borrow this chappy!! hugs

Serenity Maxwell: We all drool at the sight of Train!!! We'll trade him on weeks, how does that sound? ; )


	35. Eve Discovers Video Games

A/A: WATCH OUT FOR THE EVIL DANCING PENGUINS WHO ARE TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BRAIN AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! (no, I'm not on crack)

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue.

Chapter Thirty-Five: Eve Discovers Video Games

Eve lounged on the couch in the hotel, simmering. Or more accurately, boiling over. Train and Sven had snuck out in the middle of the night to go on some sweeping mission. And they had let her. How dare they?

Somebody knocked on the door, and Eve dragged herself off the couch to go answer it. As soon as it was unlocked, Rinslet rushed in, carrying a large, black rectangle. She dumped it on the couch, and turned to Eve, huge grin on her face.

"You ready?" she asked.

"Ready for what?" replied Eve, to angry to get confused.

"Didn't I call you?" questioned Rins, looking perplexed.

"Nooooooo," Eve told her, rather sarcastically.

"Oh, well," Rinslet said carelessly, "I'll just tell you now. I was going around to garage sales, and someone was selling this old, old, dinosaur-age Nintendo 64 player thing, and so I thought that we might enjoy it."

Despite herself, Eve was intrigued. She had heard boys talking about them sometimes, but had never actually seen one. Trying to hide her curiosity, she said roughly, "What games do you have?"

Rinslet grinned, knowing that Eve had taken the bait, "Oh, _The Legend of Zelda, _some sport ones, a James Bond one, and...MARIO KART 64!"

"What's that last one?" Eve inquired.

"Oh, it was my favorite back when I was a kid, you choose a character and there are all these different races tracks, and you race around, like, three times, and then sometimes they have these multicolored boxes with question marks on them, and if you hit them you get these cool extras, and sometimes, you can _electrocute people_! It's really fun!"

Eve paused, wondering whether or not Rins was on crack. "It's fun to electrocute people?" she asked in disbelief.

"No, well yes, but the whole game is fun, come on!"

Rinslet and Eve spent the next hour trying to figure out how to hook the Nintendo up. Eve learned several new words she thought she might try out on Train and Sven when they finally came back.

Then, after long while, it was set up. Rins and Eve settled themselves on the couch, controllers in hand and ready. They picked their characters - a blonde hair ho named Peach for Rinslet and a laughing mushroom named Toad for Eve - and the race track, and watched eagerly as the countdown began.

"How do you go forward?"

"Omigod, I'm stuck!"

"IT'S EXPLODING PENGUINS!"

"I HATE YOU!!"

"AHHH!! You just electrocuted me! That's cheating!"

"No, it's not!"

"I just fell into the water!"

"Again."

"Oh, look, when you come out you're an ice cube! That's awesome!"

"AH!! THEY JUST RAN INTO ME!"

"Wheeeee, I keep getting hit by trucks!"

"I think I'm finally getting a hang of staying on the track. Wait, no, never mind."

"I'M NOT GOING REVERSE, YOU STUPID GAME!!"

"GAR!! HE JUST PASSED ME AGAIN!"

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOO, I ALMOST WON!!"

"Those coconuts keep hitting me!"

"MY TEETH HURT!!"

"What the hell?"

"BLOOD, BLOOD, GALLONS OF THE STUFF, GIVE THEM ALL THEY CAN DRINK AND IT'LL NEVER BE ENOUGH!!"

"STOP SINGING!!"

And on and on. Lunch and dinner where totally forgotten. Then, the door opened, and in walked Sven and Train.

What they saw made them want to turn and walk right back out. Eve was standing there, eyes glowing, five feet taller than the morning, hair being blown up by a nonexistent wind, her fist clenched, every inch of skin covered in anger marks. Rinslet sat in the back ground, grinning smugly.

"I CHALLENGE YOU!" roared Eve "YOU ARE GOING DOWN, BITCH!!"

A/N: This is based on a true story. Me and Tiggermyk, this morning, discovering the joy of the Nintendo that our cousin gave us. It would be a lot more fun, but I just got my lower braces and my teeth flipping hurt. Anyway. Sorry it's taken so long to update. hides in closet from angry readers I've had exams and all. And I was working on a different chapter, but it's taking really long, so I decided to post this. Anyway. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!! AND HAPPY HANAKUH!! If I don't update again, see y'all next year!!

Gingerbread Penguins for the Reviewers:

SpaceJunk: You never really email me, so there is nothing to respond to.

Serenity Maxwell: Let's all bow down and worship the Karmaness.

Chamed-Envy-Fangirl: I LOVE HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE!! goes and snuggles Howl What's your deviant account? I have one, too!

Cryptic Angel: DON'T DIE!! YOU'VE DONE IT TO MANY TIMES ALREADY!! goes and mourns Cryptic Angel Whatever happened to Requim17? I miss her.

mahoakitti: It took FOREVER to name all the chapters. Thanks for noting!

Itty Bitty Fluffy Vampire: Of course he's arrogant, he's Karma the Extremely Smexy. And yes, he has immortal friends. One of their names is Edward. evil snicker


	36. Three Shorts w Fruits & a Debt Lady

A/A: No matter how hard you try, your weird, antisocial, Celtic music addicted friends will never understand the beauty of Davey Havoc's voice.

Disclaimer: No matter how hard I try, I can't spell "Kentaro Yabuki" with "Moggetchan". Sigh.

Chapter Thirty-Six: Two Shorts Dealing With Fruits and One Completely Different

Short Number One: The Pomegranate

Early one morning, Train woke up. Then he looked at the clock and realized that it was actually late in the afternoon.

In any event, Train woke up, and there was no one else in the hotel room. Stretching, he walked into the kitchen, which was where he spotted it.

This odd red...thing...sitting on the counter.

Carefully, he pulled out his cell phone and called Sven.

"_What?_" asked a rather impatient Sven.

"Sven," Train said, "There's this red thing sitting on the kitchen counter."

"Yes, Train, that would be a pomegranate."

"A what?"

"A pomegranate."

"What do you do with it?"

Sven couldn't believe that this was happening.

"...you eat it, Train."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay, later."

With a shrug, Train picked up the pomegranate and bit into it.

Sven's phone rang again. Looking at the caller ID screen, he cursed.

"What is it this time, Train?" he asked.

"Sven...it tastes _terrible_."

"Did you cut it open?"

"You're supposed to cut it open?"

"...Yes, Train, you are. You cut it open and eat the little red seeds, which are called arils."

"Ohhh. Later."

Taking out a knife, Train cut into the fruit, and was a little bit grossed out by the bloody looking juice that came out. Carefully, his bit into one of the tiny arils.

"Sven!!"

"WHAT, TRAIN!"

"It's still really gross!"

"..."

"Hey, where are you, anyway?" asked the oblivious Train.

"The spa."

"Whoa."

"Good-bye, Train."

Short Number Two: The Kiwi

"Hey, Sven?" Train asked one day, going through the groceries that Sven brought home one day.

"Yes, Train?"

"What are these weird, hairy, brown things?"

"Those are kiwis, Train," Eve answered happy for the opportunity to show off in front of Sven. "Don't you know anything?"

"Kiwis are birds in New Zealand," Train answered, "Don't _you_ know anything?"

"Um, Train, these are fruits called kiwis," Sven told him, breaking his heart.

"B..but...they're BIRDS, Sven! BIRDS!!"

"Yes, Train, they're birds."

"But you just said that they're fruit!"

"..."

"They're, both, Train," Eve told him.

"Oooohhhhh. Like I'm Train, and then there's the train you ride!"

"..."

"So you eat these things?"

"Yes, Train, you eat them."

So Train bit into one of them, and spat it back out. "That's disgusting! People actually eat them?!"

"Well, they normally peel them first, or cut them in half and spoon the flesh out," Eve offered.

"Oh, I get it." Train took out a knife and cut the kiwi in half. "WHOA! SVEN! It's the same color as your hair!"

"Thank-you, Train."

"Hey, this is pretty good!" said Train, completely ignoring him, as usual.

Short Number Three: The Reappearance of the Debt Collector

"SHE'S GAINING ON US!!" Train shouted, keeping his eye on the mad ladies car as they drove quickly down the road.

The faint shout of "NO! STOP GOING SO FAST! I JUST WANT TO TALK!!" could be heard coming from the window of the car behind them.

"Just ignore her!" Train said, "It's all just a ploy to get us to pay her."

"I'M NOT EVEN A DEBT COLLECTOR!!" was shouted "I'M FROM YOUR INSUARNCE AGENCY!"

Sven braked the car abruptly.

"No! Sven," cried Train, "She could be lying!"

"I'm not," the woman said, jumping out of her car and running up to them before they could drive away.

"Wow, you run fast!" Train said, slightly awed.

"I've already lost twenty pounds chasing you crazy people."

"Well you look good!"

"Aw, thanks! Anyway. As your insurance representative, it is my job too inform you that you, Train Heartnet, are causing to much trouble everywhere you go, so it's my job to follow you around to collect claims."

"STEP ON IT SVEN!" Train shouted, and Sven complied, leaving the insurance lady in the dust.

"NOOOO!" she cried, "Not them, too!!"

Hearing a loud noise behind her, she turned to see a woman almost identical to her zip by, shouting maniacally, "I WILL GET THEM THIS TIME! ALL THEIR MONEY AND THEIR FIRST BORN SONS ARE MINE!"

"Wow."

A/N: Bleh. Sorry it's been so long. I just haven't done anything in two weeks, and it's been rather nice. I was actually going to go bite into a pomegranate husk, just to see what it's like, but I don't feel like getting up. As for the last short, the insurance lady is a spoof off of Merrill, for those of you have read _Trigun._ So how was everyone's Christmas - or Hanukkah? Good, I hope. I got the new this CD called _Until There's Nothing Left of Us_ by this really awesome band I've just discovered called Kill Hannah, and any fan of alternative rock should definitely go listen to them. They're AWESOME!!

Dancing Penguins for Reviewers

Chamed-Envy-Fangirl: I haven't really listened to that CD - it's my friends - but I like MCR. Did you know that Gerard has a comic book coming out this year? Oh, and I couldn't get to your DA account!! T.T

ttoad: No, doesn't seem like to good an idea, does it?

Cryptic Angel: Omigosh, thank you. I hope that requim gets a break from her Uber business. Relaxation is very important!!

Serenity Maxwell: Yes, that is a good idea, but first...I MUST PLAY DDR!! No, much to my chagrin, I've never had the opportunity, and must experience it before I actually write about it. After all, you write about what you know! .

totto-chan: Aww, thanks. I hope you read the other chapters! I have yet to play Zelda, even though we have it.

mahoakitti: Yes, apparently Zelda is very addicting. I can't wait for you to post things on DA!

TA TA FOR NOW, MY DEAR READERS!!


	37. Habanera Peppers

A/A: Don't do what Eve does. Seriously.

Disclaimer: I don't own any habanera peppers. I don't own any trains. I don't have any cats either, of any color. Nor am I aquatinted with anyone named Sven. Anyone see where I'm going with this? I don't own _Black Cat_ or any of the people, places or events within. What a lame disclaimer.

Chapter Thirty-Sven: Habanera Peppers

Glancing around the kitchen, Eve looked for something to eat. Sven was outside smoking, and Train was on the couch, sipping some milk. She spotted something bright and orange laying in the corner of the counter.

Curious, she picked one up. They looked exactly like bell peppers, only smaller.

"Hey, Train," she called, "Are these miniature bell peppers or something?"

Train looked up and almost chocked. "Um, no, quite." He was about to say something further, but Eve wasn't listening, because she never listened to Train.

Twirling the orange fruit(1) around in her fingers several times, and still ignoring Train's warnings, she ate it in one bite.

Out on the patio, Sven heard Eve shriek. Rushing in, he saw her kneeling in the kitchen, using the table for support, as Train did the best he could to get her to drink some of his milk.

"What happened?" he demanded, rushing to her side.

"I tried to tell her not too, but she ate one of the habanera peppers that you where going to use in dinner tonight."

"Water," gasped Eve.

"No, milk," said Train, thrusting it under her face again.

Seeing that Train had told the truth, Sven couldn't help it. He laughed until he cried. He clutched his side, collapsing as he fought to breathe.

"You ate the pepper," he choked out, while Eve glared at him with watering eyes. "I can't believe you ate a habanera pepper!! They're one of the hottest peppers in the world."

"I thought it was a baby bell pepper," Eve said, blushing at her folly.

(1) I can't figure out whether or not peppers are fruits or vegetables, so I'm just calling them fruits. Deal.

A/N: Look, more food. I actually did this once, several years ago. I drank the damn milk so fast I got a stomach ache. I felt kinda bad for making Train so stupid the last chapter that I decided to make Eve do the stupid thing this time. I hope she'll forgive me! . I got the 6th BC. It's so good. Charden takes off his glasses!! So hot!!

Penguins for the Reviewers:

Sunburned-Stickperson: YAY!! NEW REVIEWER!!

mahoakitti: I like kiwis. They're green. Like Sven's hair.

KuroXIIINeko: Train seems to have lived such a complicated life, that it's kida nice to have him react to simple things . Thanks for the review!

HauntedAngel113: Wow, that's a lot of reviews! And long ones, too!! Thanks bunches!!

CrypticAngel: Ohh, I hope you're having a nice vacation! You're an evil person, ya know, making your friend do that! I hope you made him his cookies! (jk)

ttoad: I hope you and Train can learn together! Good luck...

Yokokitsu: It has been a while, hasn't it? Merry Xmas and Happy New Year, to you, too (even if it's a little late) I wouldn't put it past Eve to do that...haha

Chamed-Envy-Fangril: Hhhhmm. I'll try again. Yup Gerard's comic book isn't out yet, but the publisher, Dark Horse, has a sneak preview on their website.

Serenity Maxwell: Fruit is very good! Eating oranges in the dark is one of my favorite things to do!! You have to admire Sven for putting up with all that he does!


	38. Sven Protects Eve while Train's an Idiot

A/N: It seems that some reader named Haru found that my last chapter was "TERRIBLE" because of the fact that Sven didn't help Eve. Very OoC, according to Haru-sama. So, I'm just going to say this, for everyone who has ever read this story and thought that the characters did something that they wouldn't. The out of characterness is supposed to be funny, and I'm sorry that you didn't see the humor in that...OMIGOD!! I'VE FAILED AS AN AUTHOR!!! I'LL TRY HARDER NEXT TIME!! I PROMISE!!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME, HARU-SAMA!! I'LL DO BETTER THIS TIME, I PROMISE!! OH, HOW CAN I CONTINUE TO LIVE ON THIS PLANET, BREATHING THE SAME AIR!! HOW CAN I CONTINUE TO POST MY STORIES ON THIS HONORABLE WEBSITE, POLLUTING IT WITH MY TERRIBLENESS!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own BC, because I make them do TERRIBLE things that they would never do.

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Sven protects Eve while Train is an Idiot

"Sven!" Eve called, trotting over to her beloved green-haired protector. Sven turned around and saw that Eve had turned her arm to a rather pointy looking machete, and was running over to him.

"EVE!! NOOOO!" Sven cried, stopping Eve where she stood. "You must NEVER, NEVER run with knives. It is dangerous! You could fall and stab your eye."

"Oh, okay," said Eve brightly. She turned around, just in time to see Train run by with a pair of scissors, trip and stab his eye.

It was rainy. Sven, Eve and Train - wearing an eye patch - walked down the road, hoping to get home soon, out of the cold and damp.

Suddenly, Eve saw a puppy up ahead. Wishing to pet it, she started to run up to it, only to be stopped by Sven, who said, "EVE!! You must never run on wet side walks! You could slip and skin your knee!"

Unfortunately, Train also wished to pet the puppy, and had started to run as well, but hadn't heard Sven's warning. Slipping, he tried to stop, but was unused to only having one eye, so he ran into a street light, and then wheeling about dizzily, he tripped and broke his ankle.

"Hey, Sven?" asked Eve while they where making a cake to cheer Train up, since he couldn't see, had a broken nose and a broken ankle.

"Yes, Eve?" Sven asked in reply.

"May I lick the batter from the spatula?"

"NO! It has raw eggs in it! You could sick!"

Train limped in too late to hear this, and picking up the spatula, took a huge lick of the chocolate batter.

Sitting on the couch, waiting for the cake to bake, while Train threw up in the bathroom, Sven suddenly heard a high pitch beeping.

"It's the fire alarm!" he hollered, grabbing Eve and hustling towards the door. They ran out into the hallway of the hotel. Eve started to run to the elevator, but Sven stopped her.

"The electricity could fail, and you'd be stuck," he warned, "It's best to take the stairs in cases like these."

They ran down the stairs, but Train, not hearing this and having a broken ankle, decided that it would be easier to take the elevator.

However, the fire melted the cable, and the cart crashed down six stories.

EPILOUGE

Sven succeed in protecting Eve and teaching her very important lessons in safety. The following conversation occurred between an old school mate of Train's and Train while Train in the hospital in a full body cast, burns and food poisoning.

Train: What did I ever do to deserve this?

Karma: Well...

Train: Shut up. Just tell your creator, that stupid Moggetchan, that I HATE her.

Karma: She'll just cry and go eat chocolate.

Train: My foot itches.

Karma: grins evilly.

A/N: Bleh. Okay, whoever asked me to draw a picture of Karma (to lazy to go back through all those reviews and figure out who) I hope all your bacon burns. I haven't been able to stop drawing him!!! I should be posting them online soon, so I'll let ya'll know when. Speaking of online art, Chamed-Envy-Fangurll, I found your account, I was just lazy to log in . Sorry. I'll go log in later. Yeah. I'm so pathetic.

To Everyone Who Reviews: I'm to lazy to get online (we have dial-up) and log into my email account, and then get into my review folders and then find all the chapter 36 reviews and come up with witty replies. So I'm temporarily canceling the Penguins Corner. Sorry, really. I love and really, really appreciate everyone who reviews!! Really, I do!! Even if they're short, or telling me I'm terrible, because they help me grow as an author. Thanks to everyone who always reviews!!! .


	39. Interview with Train

A/A: Don't even bother to ask anyone to dinner. They'll just have to work...sniffles...

Disclaimer: I don't seem to own anything I would like. Like some CDs. And some people. And BC.

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Interview with Train

The Lovely Authoress sat a bit uncomfortably in her chair (because it was falling apart, not because she was nervous) and looked at the computer and smiled widely, saying: "Hellooooo, dear readers, today we are going ask Train how he really feels about things - seeing as he gets made fun of so often."

Train walked in, looking incredibly hot, just like always, in a black shirt split open to show his XII tattoo and his finely sculpted chest. His brown hair was swept every which was, and his golden eyes glinted with friendliness, and maybe something else deep down, in the hidden depths of his soul.

"Welcome to '_Black Cat_ Drabbles of Doom' Interview Corner, Train," said the lovely authoress tossing her head to get her fricking annoying bangs out of her eyes. "It's a real honor."

"Well, it's nice to be here," said Train easily, plopping down across from the authoress.

"Shall we get started with some questions?" asked the authoress.

"If you'll give me some milk."

"Sorry, we ran out this morning, much to my annoyance - I had to eat toast instead," the lovely authoress said, downhearted, "We do, however, have this lovely chocolate crème pie."

"That'll do," Train said, licking his lips in anticipation.

There where several minutes when the authoress scrambled around, trying to find clean dishes, and then waiting for Train to eat the pie in about two bites.

"Okay, ready," said Train, content.

TLA: Okay, well, first off, how do you feel about being the butt of the jokes all the time?

TH says flatly: I hate it.

TLA: Ooookaaay, that's a pretty scary face. We're just going to move right along. How much do you miss Saya?

TH: About as much as you would miss that guy you like if I shot him.

TLA hurriedly changes the subject: How well do you and Sven get along.

TH: Pretty, well, actually. That Kentaro Yabuki only seems to draw the scenes where we argue, though. I guess it's because he doesn't like me. NO ONE LOVES ME ANYMORE!! BOOOHOO!!

TLA hugging TH: NOOO! TRAIN!! IT'S NOT TRUE!! I STILL LOVE YOU!!!

TH sniffling: Really?

TLA: YES!!

TH: Okay.

TLA: So, anyway, how do you really feel about Creed.

TH: ...he's a gay man ho.

TLA: Yes, he is, isn't he?

TH: Do you have any milk now?

TLA: Go away, Train.

TH: leaves sulkily.

A/N: Yes, yes, I know, it's really weird. I'm also going to do interviews with Sven, Eve, Creed, maybe a couple of other people and KARMA!! Yes, I know, he's not really BC, but y'all won't mind, will ya? Anyway. I now have a picture of Karma up at www.moggetchan. - well, I will in a couple minutes, and I also have a story up on called "Adventures of the Gender Confused" by the same pennames. Can't remember if I've told y'all this yet. Anyway. IT'S FRIDAY, BITCHES!! YES!!

Penguins for Reviewers:

Crackerfang: Parent's just don't seem to understand the emotional attachment some of us feel for book characters, do they? My parents think I'm a freak, because I always cry when a character dies, and they're just like, "It's a book character," and I'm just like, "B-b-ut...I...I...I LOVED THEM!! BOOHOO!"

mahoakitti: Well, I think I've done some pretty OOC things before, and one has ever complained. I think Haru was just weird...or something...

CrypticAngel: I plan to keep going for a while! At least to 100!! Then I'll stop, or at least slow down. Or something. I'm glad you like it, tho! .

ANaughtyMouse-chan: AMELIA!! I LOVE YOU!! YAY!!! EVERYONE MEET MY BUDDY!!! YAY!! YAY!!

Serenity Maxwell: Well, that whole last chapter was supposed to be a joke, because of Haru, who freaked out so much. Yes, we love Train. Teehee. He's just fun to be mean too! ducks as Train throws things at her


	40. Interview with Creedykins Oo

A/A: Touch the red button. Go ahead, I dare ya!

Disclaimer: I don't want to own BC, because that would mean getting Creed as well, a thought that makes me shudder.

Chapter Forty: An Interview with Creed

Well, today, dear readers, we have a rather...urm..._special_ guest. Yes, special. Creed Diskenth has so unfort...kindly, kindly agreed to come in and talk to us.

God save me now.

The Lovely Authoress sat down in the decrepit computer chair and waited for Creed to come in. He was late. The authoress sighed, about ready to call the interview off, when the door slammed open and in burst Creed.

The Lovely Authoress did her best not to gag. Seeing Creed wearing that split animal print shirt with the...fur in person and the tight pants was a whole lot worse in person that it was in the book.

"So," asked Creed dramatically, "What is it you want to know, my lovely authoress?" taking her finger tips, Creed kissed them, and the authoress turned a whiter shade of pale.

"E--everything," the authoress managed to squeak, yanking her hand back as politely as she knew how.

"Very well then," said Creed, licking his lips, "Let us begin."

Somehow, the authoress thought, he sounded criminal when he said that.

TLA: Alright, Mr. Diskenth, why exactly do you want to destroy the world, just for the record.

CD "teehees" creepily: Oh, now, Lovely Authoress, there's no need for that formality, just call me Creedy-kins. AND I WANT TO DESTORY THE WORLD SO THAT TRAIN WILL FINALLY NOTICE ME!! (laughs scarily)

TLA: Um, Creedy-kins, I thought that you wanted to destroy the world to rid it of Chronos.

CD teehees again: Oh, no, dear, everything I do is for Trainy-baby. I could care less about some old farts.

TLA: Oookay. So, how do you feel about Train?

CD with evil glint in eyes: Weeeeeeel, I want to - bleep - him and then maybe -bleep - and then - bleep - because he's my - bleep. He makes me horny, just looking at him, so sometimes I have to - bleep - whenever I think of him.

TLA: throws up.

CD with raised eyebrow: Are you alright?

TLA: Yeah...I'm fine...(sways drunkenly)

CD: Good. Because I'm not done talking about TRAIN! I have _pin ups_ that I made on my computer, you know, using my _imagination _hanging everywhere. And I have this life size doll. And my sheets have Train, and my jimmies have Train, so that I can SLEEP WITH HIM!! (giggles like a high school girl) And, and, and I've installed cameras in every safe house bathroom...(giggles again) so whenever I get bored...(giggles again)

TLA whips out the cell phone she wishes she had and called Train: TRAIN-SAMA!! GO GET ALL THE CAMERAS OUT OF YOUR BATHROOM!!!

TH: Wha---

CD: Omigod!! Is that TRAIN!! Oh, gimme gimme gimme!!

TLA: NO!

CD pulls out the imagine blade and is suddenly no longer giggling: Give. Me. The. Fucking. Phone.

TLA: Sorry, Train.

CD takes the phone and says while licking lips and putting one hand down his pants: Hey, Train.

TH: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (click as the phone is hung up)

CD: doesn't notice and keeps doing what he's doing.

TLA says after throwing up: Good-bye...dear readers...I've been...scarred.

A/N: I'm sorry. I've probably scarred all of you as well, now. BUT DON'T WORRY!! I HAVE COOKIES AND PENGUINS FOR EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS!!

Cookies and Penguins to the Reviewers:

mahoakitti: Well, I'll probably do Charden-sama eventually, if that's what those puppy eyes are for! XD

Yokokitsu: YAY! concrit!! FOR THE FRIST TIME EVER!! Hahaha! I'm planning on doing Sven next...he's gonna be tough...and Karma last. I'll try to make them long! I will! (I bet you wish that his one wasn't as long! . )

Crackerfang: If do write it and put it up, be sure to put it up, because I would love to read it!

Serenity Maxwell: Yes, we have milk now! TRAIN-SAMA! Want some milk? (is glomped by Train)

CrypticAngel: AHHHH! That's so funny!! I'm going to do that after I finish all these interviews! Yes yes!!

Ciao for now, readers!


	41. Interview with Sven

A/A: Sleep is precious, don't waste. If you have any extra, you can give it to me.

Disclaimer: As much as I would like to own BC - because of Sven - I don't. Bummer.

Chapter Forty-One: Interview with Sven

Okay, dear readers, after that rather...interesting...mishap with Creed, I think we could all use the nice, calm, green-hairdness of Sven. Yes, that would be nice.

The Lovely Authoress slumped in her chair, being deprived of sleep, feeling sick and on codeine, waiting for Sven to come in. He was precisely on time. Just look at his calm face, the authoress felt a little better.

TLA: So, Sven, how are you today?

SV: Oh, I'm fine, thank you. And you?

TLA: I've been better. But this isn't about me. We're hear to talk about you!

SV: Er, yes, I suppose. (pulls out a cigarette) Do you mind?

TLA: Nope, not at all. Alright, let's start with Eve. What's happening with you two?

SV: Well, as you probably know, I recently tried to leave her. Then I realized that she's like a cigarette to me. Calms me down, you know. Helps me think straight.

TLA: ...Well, that's an interesting analogy. Anything else?

SV: Yeah, I know that she really likes me, and sometimes that worries me, because I'm an older man, and I don't want people thinking the wrong things.

TLA: Yes, that's completely understandable. What about Train? What are you're feelings on him.

SV: ...Sometimes I worry about, because of everything he's gone through and him being so relatively young. But other times...

TLA prompting: Sometimes...

SV: I GET SO MAD BECAUSE OF ALL THOSE DEBTS!! GAH!!

TLA: slowly back away

SV: ALL HE DOES IS HURT PEOPLE AND THEN WE HAVE TO PAY THE HOSPITAL BILLS AND HE'LL BLOW THINGS UP AND WE HAVE TO PAY THE PROPERTY DAMAGE AND IT MAKES ME SOOOO MAD!!! I COULD JUST KILL HIM!!!

TLA: Okay...moving on. I want to know what you think about Creed. Honestly.

SV: Honestly, I think he's a gay fag who messing up readers. Wait, no, that was you.

TLA pouts: So?

SV:...

TLA: So, what do you dream of at night?

SV: What kind of question is that, may I ask?

TLA: A good one.

SV with a strange look: Well, sometimes I have nightmares about Lloyd, though not as many as when it first happened. And sometimes I dream about what I would do if I was debt free.

TLA: And what would that be?

SV: I would buy Eve some ice cream and some books, and I would buy myself some nice cigarettes, not these cheap ones, and I would pay someone to lock Train up.

TLA with sly grin: I'll lock him up for you...

SV: No, you're underage. (as afterthought) Besides, it would be better to let Creed lock him up, after all the hell he's put me through with these damn creditors.

TLA: That's...evil...

SV: You should see these bills!

TLA: Show me.

SV: pulls bills out of back pocket

TLA take bills and looks at them: O.o I...I...I could buy Japan with this!!!

SV: Don't remind me!

TLA eagerly: I have some controlled substances you could go OD on and get it all over with.

SV: Um...no, I wouldn't want to do that to Eve.

TLA: Okay, your choice. I'm going to go to sleep now. (falls asleep in chair)

SV: Alrighty then...

A/N: Sorry if this is a little weird...I had mouth surgery. Nothing major, they just ripped my gum open and glued a gold chain on the tooth. I have bling now. (ducks whatever is thrown at her) Everyone seems to hate me now. XD Sorry. It was just kinda fun to go over the top with Creed. Hee.

Penguins for Reviewers:

Chamed-Envy-Fangirl: Everyone seems to agree with you...

Crackerfang: (whispering in fear) Creed is always watching us, precious. Be afraid! BE AFRAID!! Torture Sven idea numero uno: Tie him to a chair and shove his bills in his face. Hee hee.

Akauma Yinaku: Yes...scars...Train would love to stay with you! Heehee! Sven hates you for lying to him like that!! JK!!!

CrypticAngel: Creed's way off the "creepy" chart. Way...

Serenity Maxwell: TLA: HEY TRAIN! COME HERE!!

TH: Yes?

TLA: points at Serenity

TH: obligingly glomps

mahoakitti: I just hope I do Charden justice!


	42. Interview with Kyoko and Charden

200 REVIEWS!! THANKS SO MUCH, YOU GUYS!! (gives everyone cookies and hugs) Now...if only I could get a review for every hit I get...

Chapter 41.5

I forgot to put this in the last chapter. I wanted, though.

TLA: How do want to die?

SV chocking on cigarette: What the hell kind of question is that?

TLA ignores: Well?

SV: Um...in my sleep...I guess.

TLA: Well, there's a running pool on fanfic that you'll die of lung cancer.

SV: annoyed look

A/N: Okay...I just wanted to say that...not that there really is a pool (or is it "pole?") but everyone seems to think he'll die of lung cancer...and I just wanted to say that...and I guess we can get on with the story now...

Chapter Forty-Two: Interview with Charden and Kyoko

A/N: Sorry that's the two of them together...I don't know if I could make one long enough with just one...sorry mahoakitti!!

The Lovely Authoress was crossed leg in the falling apart chair, ignoring the throbbing pain in her mouth. Luckily, her two interviewees were right on time.

TLA getting right to the point as soon as they sit down: Okay, I have this question I've been DYING to ask you, Charden!

CF: ...Alright...

TLA: Could you take off your glasses?

K: giggles

CF: I already have!

TLA: YEAH, but I want to see it personally!

CF rolls eyes: Fine. (takes off glasses)

TLA: squeals

K: Isn't he great!

TLA: Oh, yes! So, you two, what were your feelings after Creed killed Durham?

K: I thought it was mean! I mean, like, yeah, he didn't do what Creed told him too and all, but I mean, he coulda just reprimanded - whoa, big word - him or something.

CF: I am inclined to agree with Kyoko. It's one thing to just kill an underling, but one of the Apostles, that just made me realize that if he did it to Durham, he wouldn't hesitate to off me or Kyoko or anyone else.

TLA: "One thing to kill an underling", huh? Sounds kinda...well, mean.

CF sniffs: We're trying to rebuild the world, girl. People have to die in the process.

K: I try not to think of them as people! I think of them as toys.

TLA: slowly scoots her chair back

K: I'm bored.

CF threateningly: Don't burn anything!

TLA hurriedly: So, do either of you have any fears?

K wide eyed in terror: Thunder storms...all that rain...

CF shrinking back into chair: ...rubber duckies...(1)

TLA: Okay then...

K: So what are you afraid of?

TLA: ...large crowds...phones...

K: What do you want to do when you get to be Charden's age?

CF: I resent that.

TLA: Open a comic book store?

CF: Isn't she supposed to be asking the questions?

TLA: Yeah! Aren't I supposed to be asking the questions?

K innocently: I don't know. I don't pay attention to these things. Why don't you tell me.

TLA...I don't remember...

CF: God save me from high school girls.

TLA and K: You know you love us!

CF: glares

A/N: Wasn't that good, was it? Sorry. (1) from mahoakitti's "Such is the Life of Charden Flamberg" Please go read!! Sorry I didn't ask you first...I hope you don't mind!! (bows frantically) Anyway...I get to hang out with the guy I like Sat. YAY!! It almost makes me forget my mouth...Once again, THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE 200 REVIEWS!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!! Hey, did you know that "interviewees" is really a word? I didn't!

Special 200 Reviews Cookies for Reviewers:

Serenity Maxwell: Of course he really cares for Train! I don't know how they met though...I haven't seen the anime...YET!!! My mouth is doing a bit better...

ChocoboBop: That's a cool penname! It always happens to me...I read a story and start laughing...and people start backing away.

SpaceJunk: What bet didja loose? I hope your mother knows about plans with your hair...you should start wearing it in a pony-tail, since it's gotten so long.

CrypticAngel: I'm probably going to do Eve...and maybe a short with the white cat...and Karma...and that's probably it...

Crackerfang: O.o O.o O.o O.o SVEN/CREED!! OMIGOD!! THAT'S TERRIBLE!! OMIGOD!!! That's gonna make me puke! Your friend is off her rocker!! (no offense to your friend...but...shudders)

Chamed-Envy-Fangirl: It's a goodbad thing. Good because it will fix my teeth, but bad because it hurts. (starts signing the "pain" song) But I like my bling. Someone said it looked weird, because right now, it's just hanging there from the roof of my mouth...and I gave her a duh look...

mahoakitti: I hope I did your Charden justice!!

ttoad: I wish I had money to begin with...

Yokokitsu: I'm continuing the interviews!! For a while anyway...

Habataki: NEW REVIWER!!

Akuma Yinaku: Mogget: steals Train back

Train: THANK YOU!! She was gonna make me have a foursome with Maro, Shiki and Creed! ILOVE YOU!!

Mogget: glares at Akuma Yinaku. See if you're ever gonna get him back!!

.--


	43. Interview with Rinslet

A/A: Don't let your mother volunteer you for anything...

Disclaimer: I forgot this the last chapter...oops...

Chapter Forty-Three: Interview with Rinslet

The Lovely Authoress sat in her chair, holding a box of tissues and sniffling miserably.

RW: BOO!!

TLA: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! CRAP!! How did you get in??

RW smugly: I'm a thief. I cam in through the window. Normally, I wouldn't do that to my hostess, but I heard that you forgot about me...(glares)

TLA: Heh heh heh...' (scoots chair back)

RW: (sits down) So, why don't we start.

TLA: Y-yes, of course. So, how are you doing?

RW: Fine, just fine.

TLA: Well, that's good. May I ask you a few personal questions?

RW: Yes, but that doesn't mean I'll tell the truth!

TLA: Right. So, how far have you gotten with Train?

RW: Farther than you've gotten with your non-existent boyfriend.

TLA: That's mean, and we're just going to move along now. Is that your natural hair color?

RW says with a snobby little sniff: Of course.

TLA: Uh-huh. So, of all the things you've stolen, what's your favorite?

RW smugly: Train's heart.

TLA: Besides that!

RW: Well, probably the rights to an island. That means I own it now. Yup, my own island. Burn with jealousy.

TLA: I am, trust me. So, where is this island?

RW:…off the coast of Siberia.

TLA: laughs.

RW: 'Snot funny.

TLA: Sure. Whatever you say. Now here's a question I've been dying to ask you: how do you do all the stuff that you do in heels and a mini skirt?

RW: If I told you, I'd have to kill you. (pauses) Nothing more than a lot of hard practice, as with everything in life, really.

TLA: What's your favorite animal?

RW: Black cats.

TLA with roll of eyes: What do you look for in a man?

RW: He has to be able to keep up with me physically, he has to be cute, funny, smart…(is interrupted by TLA)

TLA: Train doesn't fit that last bit.

RW glares: YES HE DOES!!

TLA grinning evilly: Suuuuuuuure. (pulls out phone and calls Train) HEY, TRAIN!!

TH: What?

TLA: Rinslet thinks you're smart!

TH: How is that funny?

RW: Omigod! You have Train's number? Can I have it? PLEASE? PLEASE???

TLA: is jumped by Rinslet, drops phone and lays on floor, dead, while Rinslet happily babbles to Train.

A/N: I'm not sure that I like this chapter. Bit rushed to me. Oh, well. I have a cold and am beyond mortal cares. On the bright side…wait…there isn't a bright side!!

Penguins for My Lovely Reviewers Who Make Life Less Bad and More Happy because They are Wonderful and I Love Them.

Crackerfang: Sven/Train? Nah! Me/Train:P Just kidding! I'm Rins/Train all the way!! Hey…that gives me an idea for a new chapter!! BWAHAHAHAHA!! BC members discover those certain fanfics…heh heh heh…

ttoad: I don't know who Balador is…sorry! But thanks for reminding me about Rinslet…oh dead…(hasn't been thinking straight for days)

CrypticAngel: It has taken a while, hasn't it? Sorry…I've just been busy! (falls back to that excuse) I could do a short with the White Cat as a special end to an interview with Karma, if you want me too!! Just to make it relevant to BC…-.-

SpaceJunk: I have an 85 in Dr. B's class…YES!! You hair is…interesting….and it is long enough to get into a ponytail. It should be, anyway. The back, at least. If you try.

Akuma Yinaku: (hands Train back quickly) I've changed my mind. You can have him.

Bowsergal: Tee. Thanks! Mahoakitti is the best!!

mahoakitti: XD I'm glad you liked it! Don't kill Charden-chan!

Serenity Maxwell: He had to cancel at the last minute on Sat….(sobs) But that's okay, because then he tutored me after school!! XD I'm glad that you like the characters in the interviews! This has seemed to be really popular so far! Maybe I should just make it a different story entirely…nah…

ONCE AGAIN, I LOVE YOU, MY REVIEWERS!! PLEASE CONTINUE TO HONOR ME WITH YOUR OPINIONS ON THIS LOWELY ONE'S DRABBLES!!


	44. Interview with Eve

A/A: Avoid getting sick at all costs.

Disclaimer: OMIGOD! IT'S A DISCLAIMER!!

Chapter Forty-Four: An Interview with Eve

The Lovely Authoresses eye twitched. She squirmed. She couldn't help it. A giggle escaped from between her chapped lips.

Her guest glared at her, finding the immaturity of it all very annoying. "What's so funny?" Eve demanded.

"Nothing, really," the Authoress replied flippantly, "I'm just really, really hyper. I had to sit still all day at school, and now I'm free to go like WOO!!" The last, suddenly shouted part made Eve jump.

"Can we just get on with the interview so I can get back to Sven?" Eve huffed, "I don't want Train making any moves on him while I'm gone."

TLA: Whoa, do you think Train is gay?

E: No. That's stupid. But he may do something to win Sven's respect. (musingly) Though, I gave heard that one of your reviewers gave him laced milk, so I bet he'll just do stupid things.

TLA: (sighs) Yes, well, I wouldn't put it past him. So how do you really feel about Sven? I mean, do you just admire him, or do have a crush on him?

E: What does it matter? All you need to know is that Sven is the most important person to me.

TLA: It does matter. Because, well, because if you just admire him that's one thing. Most girls admire their fathers or older brothers. But if you have a crush on him, then, you know, it's a different matter entirely, because he's about eleven years older than you.

E: I'm all too aware of that fact. Anyway, it's a little bit of both. I admire him, and I love him.

TLA: (sighs) I know how you feel…

E: Yeah…(sighs in unison with TLA)…he's so close…

TLA: But at the same time, he's so far. Just out of your reach.

E: Exactly! (looks TLA up and down) You know, you're not so bad.

TLA: (bows from seat) Why, thank you. Okay, moving on! What's the hardest part of your power?

E: I would say either the fatigue that comes with it sometimes - when I overuse it - or when people look at me weird. The worst part, though, is the fact that sometimes, even though I have this power, I can't do anything to help people.

TLA: That's very admirable, Eve. You're one mature little girl.

E: (mutters) I'm not that little.

TLA: Uh-huh. So anyway. What kind of music do you like?

E: Well, around people, I listen to classical, because I think they kind of expect it of me. But when I'm alone…when I'm alone…(grins sheepishly) When ever I'm alone, I like listening to some fucking badass hardcore, bitch. I love Avenge Sevenfold, Three Days Grace, System of the Down, Aiden and Slipknot. (begins banging head and air guitaring)

TLA's jaw hit floor with audible thunk

E: And sometimes, I take the cover off of a classic novel or long work of fiction and put it on my romance novels.

TLA: Romance novels?

E: (nodding) Oh, yes, I love romance! I read Gothic romance, harlequin romance, and, best of all, erotic romance. I'm getting a lot of good ideas.

TLA: Um…yeah, I don't want to know what for. If you could do one thing with your powers to yourself, what would you do? You know, would you change your eye-color or make yourself taller?

E: (looks down at herself) I would give myself bigger boobs.

TLA: Wow. Ya know what…I think it's time to let you go back to Sven. Okay…buh-bye.

E: Yes. Good-bye, Lovely Authoress.

A/N: XD At first I was putting off writing Eve's interview because I thought it would be hard, but once I got started…XD Y'all don't hate me now, right? I'm finally getting over being sick – I had a cold for about two weeks – and The Drifters came and played at school today, and I'm just really, really HYPER!! OMIGOD!! (runs around in circles until she falls over twitching and giggling insanely) Oh, yeah, I'm reposting chap. 43 because there was this HUGE error in the middle. Yup.

Penguins for Reviewers:

Crackerfang: Well, when you don't like someone, you don't like someone. Rinslet is okay.

CrypticAngel: It seems like just a billion things are happening at once all of a sudden! Maybe it's because the end of school is in sight, but I've been trying to work on a million things at once! It's so confuzzling!! . 

ttoad: I'm with the American version…maybe I'll get to meet him soon! There was something in the preview about Rinslet teaming up with a number or something…

Spacejunk: That entire play was all screwy. Like when Ms. Arvay just stopped it in the middle of things. I thought that that was supposed to happen, so I laughed my head off, but when I found out that it wasn't I was just like…the fuck?

mahoakitti: Do you not like Rins, either? Huh.

Serenity Maxwell: Yeah, I wouldn't move it because it would be to much of an effort, and I don't like doing any more work that what I have to. Heck, I don't even like the work I have to! .

requim: Oh, hello!! Long time, no see! . I'm glad you're enjoying this! Everyone seems to be, which makes me happy! You can find Karma at www.moggetchan. and browse my gallery. Funness!

TheMusicalAlchemist: (blushes) Teehee, you're so nice!! Yes, Creed is a girl inside. And a freak. Yup.

Akamua Yinaku: I will start a "Fix Your House" fund for you. Yup. Or you could just make Sven pay for it…(evil laughter)


	45. Eve wants a Pet

A/A: Keep the aspirin handy.

Disclaimer: Guess what, I don't own it. Omigod! (guess who's feeling sarcastic) Oh, and if any of y'all have read_ Petshop of Horros_, and you think that the shop owner bears a freaky resemblance to D, you'd probably be right. I don't own him, either. And if you haven't read it, don't worry.

Chapter Forty-Five: Eve wants a Pet

"Sven," said Eve one day in the car, "Can I get a pet?" And somewhere, a little white cat cried out its hurt – it was under the assumption that he was the only one anyone would ever need.

Sven was silent for a minute. "Well, you know Eve," he said finally, speaking loudly over Train's snores, "a pet is a big responsibility, and we travel around so much, I don't know if that this is such a good idea."

Eve was ready for that, "But Sven," she said, "You know that I would take care of it the best I could, and if I got something like a bird or a gerbil that I could put in a cage, it would be easy."

"I thought you hated cages, though," said Sven gently.

Turning, Eve looked out the window and stared at the passing country side and bored looking cows for a minute. "Sometimes you need them, though," she said softly, and Sven sighed.

"Alright," he said, "Next pet store we go to we'll stop and see what they have, how about that?"

"Okay!" said Eve, happy now.

The next town they came too was a small town – more like a hamlet, really – that had one stoplight and a town hall the size of a match box. It just so happened, however, that the one thing that the town was famous for was its pet shop, simply called "D's Pets".

Sven, Eve and Train pushed open the door and then all three took a slight step back at the same time. Sitting on a couch eating a slice of Death by Chocolate Cake (1) was an androgynous figure with shoulder length black hair, incredibly long nails and wearing an elaborate Oriental robe. The air was filled with a heady scent coming from an ornate incense burner. The cake eater looked slightly shocked as they walked in.

"Oh, look, customers!" he – for it was clear by the depth of his voice that it was, in fact, a male – said, jumping to his feet and daintily wiping his fingers on a silk napkin. "What can I do for you?"

Sven was slightly taken aback. Swallowing several times, he finally found his voice, "Oh, uh, we wear looking for a pet for my friend here," he said, pointing at Eve.

"Oh," said the man mysteriously, "Let's see what we can do for you." Snapping his fingers, he opened a door at the back of his shop and several animals walked in a stately manner. There was a hamster, a ferret and a cat.

As they entered, Eve let out a gasp of amazement, young eyes opening wide in awe. "Oh, wow, Sven!" she cried out, "Just look at them!"

Casting her a confused glance – they weren't that amazing – Sven said, "Yes, Eve, they're very nice."

The shop owner smiled slightly, looking more than a little evil and mysterious. "Well, little girl," he said, "Which one catches your eyes?"

"The ferret reminds me of Train," Eve said.

"Really?" Train asked, "Is it because he's cute and cuddly and would look great as a plushie?"

Eve rolled her eyes, "No, it's because ferret's sleep eighteen hours a day, like you, and when they are awake they're hyperactive and annoying and always getting under your feet and eating your shoes."

Train blinked, "I don't eat anybody's shoes!" he protested.

Ignoring him, Eve moved along. "And the cat reminds me of Sven."

"But I'm the Black Cat!" Train exclaimed, but Eve did what Eve did best – ignored Train.

"Sven has the people he likes, and the people he doesn't, and he's elegant like a cat, and he's not very social, and he has violent outbursts on occasion."

The man – D – nodded, still smiling that smile. "And the hamster?" he practically purred.

"I'm the hamster!" Eve said, but before she could continue Train muttered sarcastically, "Yeah, good for nothing," for which he got kicked by Sven not so gently on the shin.

"No," said Eve, "I'm cute and awesome and would look great as a plushie!"

"So which one would you like?" D asked.

"I've changed my mind," Eve said regally, "I think that they're all too big, and they look really hard to care for." And with that, she turned and flounced out of the store.

Casting confused glances at each other, Train and Sven shrugged and followed her out.

When they were gone, D turned to the three men, who all laughed and turned back and went into the room they had come from.

See chapter 33

A/N: OKAY EVERYONE WHO HASN'T READ PETSHOP OF HORRORS – Basically, it's really confusing. But in a nutshell the pets of D's shop appear as humans too certain people – thus Eve's shock and the last sentence. Yeah.

So how have y'all been? I've been sick on and off, but am slowly getting better. That's why it's been a while – sorry. Life has just been keeping me busy!!

Penguins for Reviewers:

Crackerfang: A Sven plushie would be awesome! And plushie's are magical things, I'm sure that it could find some way to pay your bills…

ttoad: Mean, bad-tempered guys seem to be popular. Huh. I'm so behind. 

CrypticAngel: Hah, thanks! There are many things about Eve you don't know…

mahoakitti: Why ever not? Rinslet is cool!

ChocoboBebop: Yeah, that chapter was really weird. Maybe it was the medicine?

Serenity Maxwell: Surprising people is a great way to get them to laugh. : ) Power to the lazy people…or not…

requim: I don't get the channel that gets Heros, damnit! Eve the Emo…wow…scary images


	46. Love You

A/A: Drink water, and lots of it.

Chapter Forty-Six: Love You

It was one o'clock in the morning. All the lights were out in the hotel, except for one. It belonged to Sven's room. He sat at his laptop, busily tapping away, researching their next catch.

He paused and took a drag at his cigarette. Through the thin walls, he could hear Train snoring – having fallen asleep quite a long time ago. Eve's room was silent though.

Turning back to his computer, he began typing again, when suddenly his door creaked open. Tensing and putting his hand on his gun, Sven turned around cautiously. But it was only Eve.

"You should be asleep," he said gently.

"Yeah," she replied groggily, rubbing her eyes, "I just wanted to tell you something."

"Yes?"

"I love you, Sven," Eve said, not quite awake, and then turned and stumbled back into her room.

"Sleep walking?" Sven mused out loud, smiling.

It's nice to be told that you're loved.

A/N: HELLO, EVERYON!! It's sorta been a while, hasn't it? Oh, well. And before anyone takes this out of hand, Eve just meant that she loved him like an uncle or something. At least in this case. Just a sort of random chapter I pulled out of nowhere. It's short….

Penguins for Reviewers

Crackerfang: Maybe he'll win the lottery! XD

CrypticAngel: Eve is mysterious like that. XD And I luv Petshop!

Serenity Maxwell: I am now fully recovered! YAY! (as she says this she falls terribly ill and dies…jk…) I'm glad you liked it, though!

TheMusicalAlchemist: Well, someone once told me that Train was an idiot. Maybe that's why he's so easy to portray? LOL. Nah. I'm glad you like my story!

ttoad: You should totally go read it! It's really weird, but really good: )

mahoakitti: Well, if you ever get the chance, go read it! I'm glad I did a good job of explaining it!

ChocoBebop: Confidence is key! .-

Totto-chan: I'm oddly offended that you didn't like the interviews. JK. : ) I'm surprised that anybody likes any of my stories…-.- But I'm glad you liked this one! I wanted to put in Q-chan – because she is so cute – but I didn't find room. Sob.


	47. Inspector Gadget

A/N: This chapter is really short. Sorry!!

Disclaimer: I donna own them. Any of them. God. Just leave me alone already. (leaves in a huff)

Chapter Forty-Seven: Inspector Gadget

Train, Sven and Eve sat around the table, quietly enjoying their meal. Eve was up to her usual tricks, eating with her fingers.

Or rather, eating with her fingers turned knives/forks/spoons.

Suddenly, Train looked up. "Inspector Gadget. Eve looks like Inspector Gadget."

Sven looked at him. "The hell?"

Eve just gave him her "oh-my-go-you're-such-an-iditot-Train-I-can't-believe-you're-still-alive-I-wish-you-would-just-go-and-leave-me-and-Sven-alone-so-that-we-could-get-some-work-done-why-don't-you-just-go-find-a-hole-to-shrivel-up-and-die-in?" look.

A/N: Ahaha. I told you it was short! Shorter than the last one, even. Whoa. By the way, just in case anyone was wondering, I'm stopping at chapter 50, and moving on too…"BLACK CAT DRABBLES OF DOOM PART II!!" omigod!! I hope everybody had a HOPPY EASTER!! (ducks the dyed eggs people throw at her because of that horrible pun)

Penguins for Reviewers

SpaceJunk: Sorry I snapped. Heh. I was in one of those mood angsty teenage girls get. XD

CrypticAngel: Yes, Eve-chan is verey cute!! She would make a great plushie. XD

TheMusicalAlchemist: Train and I are alike in that way. (acting without thinking) But, I would trust him with my life any day! He's such an awesome fighter!

Serenity Maxwell: (bows) Thankee very much!

ttoad: Hey, your review was short, too! XD

Crackerfang: (pokes with very long stick from a very long way away) DON'T HURT SVEN-CHAN!

mahoakitti: Eve is very cool!

Full Metal: You spelled it right! Fluff is nice! It's all soft and…fluffy…


	48. Eve and Puberty

Disclaimer: You know, I'm really running out of witty disclaimers to put up here. I think I may have mentioned this before. So, if I start repeating, sorry. I know some of you only read my chapters for my awesome disclaimers. Now what was I saying? Oh, yeah. I don't own "Black Cat." So there.

Chapter Forty-Eight: Eve Reaches that Scary Period of Life that Everyone Wishes They Could Forget, or just Forget in the First Place, Known as Puberty – or Hell

Eve woke up, grumpy. This didn't normally happen. Eve wasn't exactly a morning person, per se, but she didn't really hate them either. Frankly, she could care less about mornings. Normally she woke up and was just like, "whatever," but today, she woke up and was decidedly grumpy.

This puzzled her, because she didn't really have any reason to be grumpy. Yesterday they had bagged a big catch, so to speak, which made Sven very happy. And generally, when Sven was happy, Eve was happy. She had also gone to bed early enough and woken up late enough that she should have felt refreshed. Instead, she just felt grumpy.

But as it was, she was grumpy.

So, dragging herself to out of bed, she stumbled into the bathroom and stared in the mirror, still bleary eyed and grumpy.

That was when she saw it. There, right in the center of her chin was this huge red _thing_. It was just there. Huge. And red. And blaringly ugly. Eve stared at her reflection in disbelief. She lowered her head into her hands. Her head felt – bumpy. Hurriedly, she lifted her bangs. There where three more of the hideous bumps. One was right between her eyebrows. The other two were nearer to her hairline.

They were so GROSS! Eve couldn't believe how ugly her face looked with these new additions.

Muttering under her breath, she quickly did her business and got out of the bathroom, so she wouldn't have to look at herself any longer than necessary.

Staggering into the kitchen, she sat down for a bowl of her favorite cereal. She took a bite, and realized that she wasn't hungry anymore. And her legs and arms hurt.

Sven came into the kitchen about five minutes later, only to find Eve staring balefully at her cereal.

"Is something wrong, Eve?" he asked.

Eve looked at him for a second, and then burst into tears. Sven stood in shock for a minute, and then rushed to comfort her. But Eve didn't want to be comforted.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she yelled at Sven, who backed away in surprise. "I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY!"

Pushing herself away from the table a wee bit violently, she ran back to her room and slammed the door.

"What was that all about?" Train asked, still mostly asleep from the door.

"I have no idea," Sven said in wonderment. "Though it reminds me of what happened to all the girls at school when they hit puberty."

Train groaned. "Oh, please no. We don't need a hormonal girl with sudden shape-changing abilities with us. She'll slit our throats while we sleep."

Sven gave him a dirty look. "Shut up, you," he growled. "She's probably just sick."

"Uh-huh," said Train with a yawn, "I'm going back to bed. Wake me up when she's twenty."

Back in her room, Eve's tears where gone. She tried to settle in to read a book, but just couldn't get comfortable. Her insides felt like someone was grabbing them and twisting with a white-hot hand. She felt nauseated. Her back hurt.

Racing into her bathroom, Eve threw-up. There was a knock on the door.

"Are you all right in there?" Sven asked, concerned.

"I'm FINE!" she yelled, "Just go AWAY!"

"You sure?" he asked, still worried.

Eve rolled her eyes at the door. "Yes, I'm sure," she said.

"Alright," he said, though he still didn't sound convinced.

When she heard the sound of his footsteps retreating, Eve sighed. Her underwear felt – wet. She hoped she hadn't wet them while throwing up. That would be, like, sooo embarrassing! Omigod!

But what confronted Eve was worst than she feared.

Running into the kitchen, where Sven was, Eve looked at him and began to cry – again.

"What's wrong??" Sven asked, wondering if he'd actually get an answer this time.

"Th..there's…THERE'S BLOOD IN MY UNDERWEAR, SVEN!" Eve sobbed, holding out the soiled garment – much to Sven's embarrassment.

A look of sheer panic passed over his face. "Um, I'm just going to go call Rinslet. She can explain everything much better, I'm sure."

A/N: I'm sure all you boys LOVED this chapter. Just be glad you're not a girl. You've probably, heard it before, but it's true. Sorry it's taken so long to update. Research papers. Projects. Plays. Essays. Math tests. You know the drill. So yeah. This chapter, obviously deals with puberty. I kinda squashed several years into one day, though. Sorry. Um…yeah…mood swings. Enjoy the special. XD

ULTRA SUPER DUPER AWESOME AMAZINGLY SPECIAL EXTRA!!

Interview with THE RANDOM WHITE CAT THAT SHOWS UP EVERYWHERE!

TLA: So, Mr. Random white cat, what's happening?

RWC: Mrow.

TLA: Awesome. How's life in the spotlight.

RWC: Mrow. Hiss. Growl (yes, I have heard a cat growl)

TLA: Huh. That's too bad. Anything else you would like to tell us?

RWC: Mrow. Mrow. Hacks up hairball. Mrow.

TLA: Hope all you ladies heard that!

A/N: That was really random.

PENGUINS FOR REVIEWERS!!

omg kiari: Lucky Sven has a big heart, huh?

CrypticAngels: OMIGOD!! That song will haunt the WORLD for forever!! XD Rock on!!

SpaceJunk: Well, if that's how you feel…

Musal: Puns are the best! They're so old they're a classic. XD Sorry it took so long.

Serenity Maxwell: Well, I just thought that if someone new ever went to read this and saw 10 billion chapters they would be intimidated and wouldn't read it. Yeah.

Immortali: See what? I saw nothing. Nope. Don't know what you're talking about. XD AS LONG AS THERE IS BREATH IN MY BODY, I WILL UPDATE!! BWAHAHAHA!

mahoakitti: I will always update. And if you are as nice to me in part two, I know I'll do well.

ttoad: If you thought Eve needed therapy before, whatcha think now? XD

Thanks everyone!!


	49. No More Milk?

A/N: eheheheh…I didn't forget y'all, I PROMISE! I was just…busy…with school….and camp…and, and, and….no idea what to write about, until I remembered this idea someone gave me a loooooooooong time ago. XD Thank-you, Cryptic-Angel!! (I think it was you. Oo)

Disclaimer: le hmmmmmm….just wait a minute while I try to come up with some, witty, amusing, interesting or otherwise entertaining disclaimer….Okay, I got nothing. I just don't own Black Cat. So there.

Chapter Fourty-Nine: No More Milk??

Eve watched in disgust, as she did every morning, as Train downed an entire glass of milk in ten-seconds.

Slamming the glass down, he let out a satisfied burp that made even Sven wince. "That's some good milk right there!" he said, "I just love organic 2 percent! It's the best!"

"How nice," muttered Sven, pulling the morning paper closer to his face, trying to block out Train's chatter.

Several hours later, Train was in the bathroom, absolutely miserable.

"Train, what is it this time?" Eve asked, thinking it might be another case of food poisoning. (1)

"I feel bloated, irregular," Train groaned.

"Then you should try Danactive!"(2) said Eve, and Train glared at her.

"I have diarrhea."

Eve made a face. "Train, that's so GROSS! Why would I want to know that? And oh, God, what is that smell?"

Train made a face right back at Eve. "Well, you asked what was wrong. And the smell is me. I don't know why. Maybe it was something I ate."

Eve was thoughtful for a minute. "Or drank. Maybe it was something you drank."

"What do you mean?" asked a confused Train.

"Well, bloating, stomach cramps, diarrhea and flatulence are all symptoms of lactose intolerance."

"Which means?"

"Well, lactase is found in dairy products - as well as some processed food – especially milk. Most mammals can only break down lactase in their weaning period: roughly 3 percent of the life span of a human. As they mature, the body stops producing the enzyme needed to break down the lactase, so it gathers in the digestive tract. There, a bacteria tries to break it down, creating an excessiveness of gas. Thus the flatulence and everything."

Train just stared at her, blinking several times. Eve sighed. "This means that you might not be able to drink milk. Ever. Again."

For Train, the world spun. His life flashed before his eyes. No more milk?? The room blurred as tears formed in Train's eyes. Then, the room disappeared altogether as Train sank into a dead faint.

Eve poked the unconscious Train. "Huh. That worked better than I thought."

Five days later, Train was suffering from with drawl symptoms. He was cranky. He was gaining weight. Sven thought he was acting worse than Eve when she got on her period. Eve was enjoying it.

Until, on the sixth day, while rummaging through the cupboard for some chocolate, he found a small jar labeled "white horehound." Being a curious person by nature, he borrowed Sven's computer and went to a search engine.

It took five minutes before Train found what he wanted. His eye twitched. "Ohhh, EVEEEE!" he called sweetly, and reluctantly she came. Train waved the bottle in her face, and she blanched.

"You were complaining about a cough, so I thought that might work. The Egyptians used it to cure coughs, you know."

Train smiled sweetly. "How nice. But it also causes vomiting and diarrhea."

"Really?" asked Eve, wide-eyed and innocent.

Sven was out shopping at this point. When he came home, he dropped his groceries in shock. Train had Eve bound and gagged in front of the tv, while he sat on the couch, happily drinking some milk straight from the jug.

"WHAT DID YOU DO, TRAIN?" Sven hollered, and Train just stared at him happily.

"I'll let Eve tell you," he said, grinning, and Eve gave him a dirty look.

A/N: Hmmm. So what'd ya think? I know Eve probably wouldn't let herself get caught by Train, and would probably find some way to get out of the bindings, but just humor me, okay? I spent a long time researching for this chapter. Heh. And I still didn't find exactly what I wanted. Poo. Omigosh, only ONE MORE CHAPTER for this series. And then we'll get to start PART II!! Isn't that exciting??

Reference to chap. 38. Wow, what a long time ago. XD

Anyone ever seen that commercial? I hate it. XD

Y'all really seemed to like the last chapter! I got a lot of new reviewers! I thought that everyone would hate it. Hmmm. XD

Penguins for Reviewers:

requim: Yes! Girl-power! I am woman hear me roar: meow! XD I will go out with a big bang!

Musal: XD I do that, too. Some of them don't care, which makes it disappointing. Someone else said that she was 13, too, but I could have sworn I read in her little profile that she was 11. Oh, well. Some girls get it even earlier than that. I glad you liked the chapter!!

CrypticAngel: XD Yeah, I was like that at first, only it was also OMIGODI'MATCAMPANDIDON'THAVEANYPADSANDIDON'TWANTTOTELLANYONEOMIGODI'MGOINGTODIE!!

SpaceJunk: XD

mahoakitti: I think girls everywhere feel her pain. XD

Immoratali: I haven't ever thrown up, but I have several friends that do. I feel so bad for them! I hope I'm able to make a part two!

Serenity Maxwell: That's what I plan to do! I'll see you there!

Demeterr: YAY! New reader! Yeah, I've been told what they really are. ' I hope you like my story!!

ChocoboBebop: I don't think that the poor manga-ka with all his male assistants would be able to pull off Eve in puberty! XD They would probably freak out just writing it.! XD

ONE MORE CHAPTER!!


	50. If I were Gay

A/N: So here we are…chapter fifty…I'm a little sad, but since it will continue in PART II!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! (chokes on her gum and dies, and then there is no part two)

PLEASE REVIEW SINCE IT'S THE LAST CHAPTER IN PART ONE!!

Disclaimer: I don't own the _Black Cat_ story or charcters, but I am the proud new owner of the newest one, and I want the next one, damnit. Nor do I own "If I were Gay" by Stephen Lynch. And, urm, this chapter might be just a wee bit "M," just to warn you right now, in case any of you people still have any innocence left. Which I doubt. No offense or anything. XD

Chapter Fifty (sob): If I Wuz Gay

**Quick note, don't know why Train would be in a bar with Creed, but let's just look over that for now, 'kay?**

Sitting in a bar next to Creed was an odd experience for Train. Here he was, calmly putting a few back, right next to his sworn enemy. Talk about insane.

It was also insane that Creed was drinking margaritas. Weren't they a woman's drink? (1)

It was also bit insane that he was claiming to have drunk only a "few." Trying to count mentally the number of times he'd had his glass refilled, Train found he couldn't. In fact, he couldn't think much past, _What's my name again?_

"TttttTTTRRRrRRRrrrrrRRrrrRAAAAaaaaIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNnnnNNNnNnNnN!!"

_Oh, yeah,_ remembered Train, _that's my name._ Then he turned to see who was calling his name in such an absurd manner. It was – shockingly enough – Creed.

"TRAIN! Are you paying attention to me?!?! I said, let's go to the back-room and make hot, steamy love with one another."

Train's alcohol inhibited thinking went something like this: _Yay, sex! Haven't had any of that in a while. Wait…it's a guy! Gay guy. Gay…CREED! What the fuck am I doing here drinking with him! Wow, I never noticed how hot he looks in that animal print, skin tight, severely "v" neck shirt with a fur lining. Huh. But omigod, that necklace just doesn't match! No way will I have sex with him dressed like THAT! _

Holding onto life against a gazillion bad guys – with machine guns – using only his pistol Train could do. Holding his liquor Train could not.

Turing to Creed – whose heart skipped a bit and had blood rush to more than just his face when Train turned his golden eyes on him – he said, "Here we are dear old friend, you and I, drunk again. Maybe the whisky has gone to my head – but if I were gay, I'd give you my heart, and if I were gay, you'd be my work of art. And if I were gay we'd swim in romance. But, Creed, I'm not gay, so get your effing hands OUT OF MY PANTS!"

"Oh, but Train," Creed whined in that Creedy-kins way, "I just looove you so much!"

"Whatever," Train growled, or rather, slurred, "Just keep your hands in your own pants – were they belong!"

There was a lull in the conversation as Train and Creed both drank more. More than they should. A little while later, Train turned to Creed again – who let out a low moan when Train licked his lips.

"It's not that I don't care – I do – I just don't see myself in you. Another time, another scene, I'd be right behind you…if you know what I mean." (Here Creed let out a little gasp and almost fainted) "Cuz if I were gay, I would give you my soul. And if I were gay, I'd give you my whole…being…And if I were gay, we'd tear down the walls. But I'm not gay, so, STOP CUPPING MY DAMN BALLS, CREED YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

This time Creed pulled his hand away without a word – it's not like it would have come out straight, anyway. The fact that he could sit up straight was in itself a miracle. The fact that he could see straight enough to tell which part of Train he was groping was just luck.

They sat in silence, as Creed practiced what he would say under his breathe until it sounded as intelligible as he could manage in his thoroughly snockered sate.

As Creed looked at him, Train wondered what the feeling growing in his gut was.

"WwwwEEE've n..n…neva huwged. We've neva ki-assed. I've neva been…in..i…int…intimate…wa…wa…wa-ith yo fist. Git ova hira a..and…and drop YAW DRAWERS!" (translation: we've never hugged, we've never kissed, I've never been intimate with your fist. Get over here and drop your draws)

Train remembered what the feeling in his gut was. It was hate/disgust/absolute loathing/a "why-the-hell-is-that-bastard-stripping-and-why-the-hell-is-he-trying-to-jump-on-my-lap" sort of fear.

That night Train learned that it is truly amazing how quickly you can sober up enough to remember your gun and shoot someone when you are feeling hate/disgust/absolute loathing/a "why-the-hell-is-that-bastard-stripping-and-why-the-hell-is-he-trying-to-jump-on-my-lap" sort of fear.

The manager of the bar was very distressed the next morning when he learned that he had to hire an all new bar staff, because they didn't think their health benefits would cover the bills should "the drunk gay with a sword and the drunk with a gun" come back. He was also quite alarmed to find a naked man passed out on the floor the next morning, surrounded by bullet holes.

Train had only sobered up enough to remember the gun and shoot, not to actually hit.

A/N: Ahhh…it's done. (1) I know men drink margaritas, too, they just seem to be more of a girl's drink to me. Here are the actual lyrics, just in case anyone wants them. If you haven't seen any of Stephen Lynch, go to and watch the videos, because he is one funny guy.

Here we are  
Dear old friends  
You and I drunk again  
laughs have been had  
tears have been shed  
maybe the whisky has gone to my head  
but if I were gay  
I would give you my heart  
and if I were gay  
you'd be my work of art  
and if I were gay  
we would swim in romance  
but I'm not gay  
so get your hand out of my pants

It's not that I don't care  
I do  
I just don't see myself in you  
another time another scene  
I'd be right behind you

if you know what I mean  
cause if I were gay  
I would give soul  
and if I were gay  
I would give you my whole... being  
and if I were gay  
we would tear down the walls  
But I'm not gay  
so wont you stop cupping my Ba... Hand

We've never hugged  
we've never kissed  
I've never been intimate with your fist  
you have opened brand new doors  
Get over here and drop…your…drawers over

THANK YOUS!!!!!!! (This section is probably going to be rather long and boring, so you don't really I have to read it, I just thought I'd put it –and there's a special note at the end! OMG!!)

Everyone Who Reviewed

Akuma Yinaku

ANaughtyMouse-chan (:heart:)

Ange.de.la.musique

Bowesergal

Chamed-Envy-Fangirl

ChocoboBebop

Cj Sutton

Clover

CocoLime

Crackerfang

Cryptic Angel

Dark Nova-chan

Demeterr

Drave

Elie

Eni Li'Nave

Full Metal

Habataki

Haru-chan

HauntedAngel13

humdiddledoo

Immortali

Itty Bitty Fluffy Vampire (:heart:)

Mahoakitti

Musal

omg kiari

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Serenity Maxwell

Shinigami109

SpaceJunk

Sunburned-Stickperson

Totto-chan

ttoad

Twilight's Truth

x.Auel.Lover.x

Yokokitsu

If I missed anyone accidentally, I'm really sorry, please forgive! (there were 19 pages to go threw)

People who Faved and/or Alerted:

'DalisaY-17'

Akuma Yinaku

Ange.de.la.musique

Attatude Ang3l 07

Chamed-Envy-Fangirl

ChocoboBebop

Chronicle of Solitude

Cj Sutton

CocoLime

Crackerfang

Dark Angel DX

Drave

flipfloppingotaku

Habataki

HauntedAngel13

humdiddledoo

Immortali

KatzMeow

Luin Kaimelar

mahoakitti

Musal

nooone

Rabid-Otaku-Bunny

Rainsfriend

requim17

ridzrais

Serenity Maxwell

SpaceJunk

Sunburned-Stickperson

Twilight's Truth

Twilight-28-17

yan.mango

Yokokitsu

YoshikoKari

Again, sorry if I accidentally left you off

ULTRA-SUPER DUPER SPECAIL NOTE!!: One final THANK YOU to everyone who read, especially those who read and reviewed, especially those who read and reviewed and alerted, especially those who read and reviewed and alerted and faved. I truly am thankful that you like my humble story so much.

Okay, now for the note: hope you like the final chapter in part one, first chapter of part TWO will be up MONDAY! SEE YOU THERE! I was going wait until August to update, because then it would have been running exactly a year, but I decided it would be mean to make y'all wait like that.

Just in case anyone wants to see what KARMA looks like check out the following galleries on DeviantArt because THE KARMANESS IS SPREADING! BWAHAHA!!

www.moggetchan. 


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